#ld

Cat's friends seemed like very sweet girls," Dad says. "They were the bomb," I say fervently, and he looks back at me with raised eyebrows. "'The bomb' is a good thing? Like 'sick'? "Duh," I reply, and Dad lets out a sigh. "Thirteen-year-olds should come with subtitles," he says, turning onto our street. ↗

— Maya Gold

#language #oldies #sick #subtitles #youngsters

Anyone who wants simple, pat stories should buy another author's product. The real universe ain't that way, and neither are my fictive ones. ↗

— David Brin

#anyone #author #buy #fictive #neither

Donegan Bane and Gracious O'Callahan - the Monster Hunters. Adventurers, inventors, authors of Monster Hunting for Beginners and it's sequels, Monster Hunting for Beginners is Probably Inadvisable and Seriously, Dude, Stop Monster Hunting. ↗

— Derek Landy

#funny #girl #gracious #humour #hunting

And I meant to tell you: that was a one-in-a-thousand shot." She raised her hand. "Don't." "It was awesome," George confirmed. "It really was," Jack said. "His head exploded. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#fate-s-edge #funny #george #ilona-andrew #jack

Jon: Our only thought is to entertain you! Garfield: Feed me. ↗

— Jim Davis

#garfield #funny

A brick could be used as a measurement of time. Yes, just think how stylish you’ll look with a brick duct taped to your wrist!
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket #funny #humor #random #strange

A brick could be put on the end of a scale, to determine if the other end of the scale holds a lie or the truth. (Hint: The truth is much heavier than a brick.)
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

On the stairs he was crying so much he hardly saw where he was going - not a mad boo-hoo but wailing sheets of tears, shaken into funny groans by the bump of each step as he hurried down. ↗

— Alan Hollinghurst

#children #funny

Silent is the ruined land. Man is brutal and the rain does not wash away the pain or rid the distant memory. It makes it glisten. ↗

— Cecil Castellucci

#life #pain #world #life

A blanket could be made of tuna fish skin, which would go well with my cottage cheese thighs.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny