#m

If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide. ↗

— Mahatma Gandhi

#ago #committed #had #i #long

Civilized men are more discourteous than savages because they know they can be impolite without having their skulls split, as a general thing. ↗

— Robert E. Howard

#civilized #general #having #know #men

I love running. I’m not into marathons, but I am into avoiding problems at an accelerated rate.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#avoiding #evasive #fear #funny #humor

You smell good," he whispered into my neck. He was warm against me. Instinctively, I arched back into him and smiled. "Really?" "Mmm-hmm. Delicious. Like bacon. ↗

— Michelle Hodkin

#humor #mara-dyer #noah-shaw #ya #humor

A girl’s got to use what she’s given and I’m not going to make a guy drool the way a Britney video does. So I take it to extremes. I don’t say I dress sexily on stage - what I do is so extreme. It’s meant to make guys think: ‘I don’t know if this is sexy or just weird. ↗

— Lady Gaga

#fashion #feminism #gender #humor #sexy

And it's Gryfindor in possession again, as Johnson takes the Quaffle - Flint alongside her - poke him in the eye, Angelina - it was a joke, professor, it was a joke... ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor #joke #humor

Photons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic. ↗

— Woody Allen

#humor #physics #religion #humor

Henry turned as if to dart out of the room, then swung around and stared at them, a look of confusion passing over his freckled face, as if he had only now had cause to wonder why Will, Tessa, and Jem might be crouching together in a mostly disused storage room. "What are you three doing in here, anyway?" Will tilted his head to the side and smiled at Henry. "Charades," he said. "Massive game. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. ↗

— Steven Wright

#humor #success #humor

Kronos would be 10 times more powerful. His very presence would incinerate you. And once he achieves this he will empower the other Titans. They are weak, compared to what they soon will become, unless you can stop them, the world will fall, the gods will die, and I will never achieve a perfect score on this stupid machine. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor #kronos #packman #percy-jackson #humor