#median

Oh yeah, I'd love to be a comedian. I've done a lot, but always in the confines of plays. ↗

— Michael Gambon

#comedian #confines #done #i #lot

I didn't become a comedian to work this hard. ↗

— Chelsea Handler

#comedian #hard #i #work

If you go down as a comedian's comedian, that's basically meaning other comedians are hopefully feeling that you're doing okay. ↗

— Eddie Izzard

#comedian #comedians #doing #down #feeling

People always call me a comedian. And I don't really see myself like that. I guess I just consider myself an actor who does comedy. But who wants to do other things as well. ↗

— Kristen Wiig

#always #call #comedian #comedy #consider

Believe it or not the war on Iraq is based on a sound scientific principle, The bee hive principle. Which clearly states that if you are stung by a bee, you should follow it back to its nest and then proceed to beat nest to a pulp with a baseball bat until the stripey little turd has learned its lesson. ↗

— John Oliver

#hilarious #baseball

I hate stand-up comics; I think funny is something you are, not something you desperately try to be in front of a roomful of obnoxious people. ↗

— Peter Cameron

#funny

Jeff: I understand you guys had a good day today? Peanut: Yes we had a great day! Jose: No we did not. Peanut: Yes Jose: No Peanut: Yes Jose: No Peanut: Yes Jose: No we did not have a good day. Peanut: Yes we hhhaad...a great frickin' day! What? Jeff: Did you have a good day? Peanut: Yes Jose: No Peanut: Shut up Jeff: A good day? Peanut: Yes Jose: No Peanut: Shut up Jeff: You're supposed to have taken him to the spa. Peanut: I took him to the spa! Jose: He put me in the vegetable steamer. Peanut: It's the same thing!!! ↗

— Jeff Dunham

#humor #jeff-dunham #jose-jalapeno-on-a-stick #peanut #humor

That's why modern corporate movie making has become so laborious that comedians are kind of kicked out by 50. ↗

— Dana Carvey

#comedians #corporate #kicked #kind #laborious

When you mimic everyone, sometimes authority figures really don't appreciate it which is not an original story. And pretty much every comedian has some tale of that. ↗

— Hank Azaria

#authority #authority figures #comedian #every #everyone

Some comedians love their characters. I don't fall in love with mine. In fact, I get tired of them very fast. You have to be willing to throw it all away. ↗

— John Belushi

#characters #comedians #fact #fall #fast