#mo

There comes a time in a man's life when he hears the call of the sea. If the man has a brain in his head, he will hang up the phone immediately. ↗

— Dave Barry

#call #humor #life #men #phone

It can be exhausting eating a meal cooked by a man. With a woman, it's, Ho hum, pass the beans. A guy, you have to act like he just built the Taj Mahal. ↗

— Deb Caletti

#cooking #gender-stereotypes #humor #humor

Babies love fat. ↗

— Kathryn Stockett

#humor #humor

Do you have a little white dress? I've had this deep-seated nurse fantasy about you, Murphy. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #karrin-murphy #women #humor

Attack life, it's going to kill you anyway. ↗

— Stephen Colbert

#life #humor

I'm a registered Republican, I only seem liberal because I believe that hurricanes are caused by high barometric pressure and not gay marriage. ↗

— Aaron Sorkin

#liberal #republican #the-newsroom #humor

[how can anyone] be silly enough to think himself better than other people, because his clothes are made of finer woolen thread than theirs. After all, those fine clothes were once worn by a sheep, and they never turned it into anything better than a sheep. ↗

— Thomas More

#fashion #humorous #renaissance #humor

Crow paced back and forth, his form flickering like flame. “It’s been a thousand years, Alister. I never intended for anyone to find it, so it’s very well protected. One little misstep, and you and my line will be history.” “Since when are you so concerned about your line?” Han said. Crow stared at him for a long moment. “Since I found out I had one, ↗

— Cinda Williams Chima

#han #humor #humor

No. No way. That name is reserved for females with grace and elegance, not this girl. This girl is...beastly. ↗

— Victoria Scott

#lol #sarcasm-humor #humor

TELEPHONE n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance. ↗

— Ambrose Bierce

#technology #humor