#mo

I want to be buried where I’m temporarily working without pay. As a permanent intern people will still walk all over me, but at least they'll remember my name - there will be a plaque under the memos. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #internships #remembrance #funny

Most screenplays depend primarily on the vision of a director. ↗

— Tom Skerritt

#director #most #primarily #screenplays #vision

...trying to predict whether global warming will moderate the next ice age is not only impossible but irrelevant. It doesn't help us get through the next few centuries. And one can only imagine our future, shivering, ice age descendants cursing us for leaving them no fossil fuel to create a global warming "greenhouse" effect when one is really needed. ↗

— John Harte

#global-warming #humour #age

It was not healthy for one man's smile to make my panties spontaneously combust ↗

— Molly Harper

#humor

I use my hands like a sculptor, to mold and shape the sound I want, to clarify. ↗

— Leonard Slatkin

#hands #i #like #mold #sculptor

Bugger off kitty!" - Ryou "But before we begin this duel to the death, I have just one question. Could I get a hug?" - Melvin "Help! This supermodel is one of my fangirls!" - Ryou "A locked door?! Impossiblllllll- No wait, that's totally possible. What am I talking about?" - Melvin "Let's ditch the tosser!" - Ryou "What a lovely day." - Melvin "Gangway; women and shemales first!" -Ryou "This door is a bitch!" - Melvin "Can I be the main character now?" - Ryou "'STAB'. (Denied.) 'KILL'. (Denied.) 'MUTIL-' Ah dammit, there aren't enough spaces! Umm... 'PAIN'. (Denied.) Why are these the only words I know?!" - Melvin "I'm here to kick ass and drink cups of tea. And I'm all out of tea." - Ryou ↗

— Little Kuriboh Ryou and Melvin

#humor #little-kurioh #marik #mariku #melvin-ishtar

A writer’s brain is full of little gifts, like a piñata at a birthday party. It’s also full of demons, like a piñata at a birthday party in a mental hospital. The truth is, it’s demons that keep a tortured writer’s spirit alive, not Tootsie Rolls. Sure they’ll give you a tiny burst of energy, but they won’t do squat for your writing. So treat your demons with the respect they deserve, and with enough prescriptions to keep you wearing pants. ↗

— Colin Nissan

#humor #writers #writing #funny

Thank you for giving me the energy for my morning jog. I’m sorry I didn’t warn you about my low ceiling, or my ceiling fan, or the blender on the counter. ↗

— Bauvard

#energy-drinks #exercise #funny #humor #jogging

Yeah 220, 221 whatever it takes!" Michael Keaton character in "Mr. Mom ↗

— Mark Buff

#funny-humor #humor #humorous #funny

What made Olive the saddest about the Gardners was that everyone wanted to be enshrined in someone’s memory. It was the only way of living on after death, really: in the minds of loved ones. Memories were the only things that made aging bearable, a way of reverting to better, simpler days. ↗

— Andrea Lochen

#alzheimers #death #dementia #memory #age