#mustache

Eddie Drake is sort of this loose cannon, funny, edgy guy, who has this really foolish, foolish mustache. ↗

— Lee Tergesen

#drake #eddie #edgy #foolish #funny

I want to buy a sports car, because I like riding bicycles. Hold on to my handlebar mustache if you value your life.
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— Jarod Kintz

#life #mustache #non-sequitur #sports-car #value

I've grown this mustache which saves me from having to glue on one every day in the heat. ↗

— Keith Carradine

#every #every day #glue #grown #having

You could say sorry," suggested Harry bluntly. "What, and get attacked by another flock of canaries?" muttered Ron. "What did you have to imitate her for?" "She laughed at my mustache!" "So did I, it was the stupidest thing I've ever seen. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor

I want to get the huge wart that looks like a nose removed from my back, but first I'm going to try to grow a mustache underneath it, to make it less noticeable. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#blemish #funny #grotesque #humor #mustache

There’s truth and honor in a mustache. And that’s why I started flying one on the flagpole outside of my house. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #flag #flagpole #funny #honor

I called the police to report my missing mustache, but they didn’t take me seriously. I’ll bet if I had a mustache, they’d take me seriously. #catch22
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— Jarod Kintz

#cops #funny #humor #mustache #police

A man once said, 'All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.' Mark Twain, you know. He had a fine mustache. Men of wisdom so often do. ↗

— Laini Taylor

#mark-twain #mustaches #humor

In the name of freedom and redistribution of wealth, I’ve decided to grow a beard on my chest.
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— Jarod Kintz

#chest #freedom #mustache #redistribution #wealth

My facial hair is imperative. I put the must in mustache.
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— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #imperative #mustache #funny