#naughty

I rarely drink, but last night, after several hours and several beers at the bar, I found myself face to face with two huge boobs. They weren’t the breasts of a young woman, but those of an old man. Still, the taste of a nipple is genderless.
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— Jarod Kintz

#alcohol #awesome #bar #bizarre #drinking

Love is a banana. First you peel it, and then you roll on the condom.
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— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#condom #food #fruit #funny #humor

The only sea I saw Was the seesaw sea With you riding on it. Lie down, lie easy. Let me shipwreck in your thighs. ↗

— Dylan Thomas

#love #naughty #poem #sex #shipwreck

Men are my hobby, if I ever got married I'd have to give it up. ↗

— Mae West

#naughty #risque #marriage

My mum was never too keen on TV, so we kids all went to the library and got books out. Right from the start, I loved the works of Mark Twain. Every time I read about Tom Sawyer, I'd go out and do something low-level naughty, just like him. ↗

— John Grisham

#books #every #every time #go #got

Let's be naughty and save Santa the trip. ↗

— Gary Allan

#naughty #santa #save #trip

It's weird, because usually if you're British and you go to America you play baddies; but I play naughty people here and goodies in America. ↗

— Paul Bettany

#baddies #because #british #go #here

I want to be a naughty pirate, because when I put on that eye patch, it barely covers my genitals. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #genitals #hilarious #humor #naughty

My wife, a schoolteacher, very disciplined. If you think I'm tough, trust me, and wait till you see when the children are on the naughty step. It's hilarious. So we decided that I'm going to work like a donkey and provide amazing support for the family. ↗

— Gordon Ramsay

#children #decided #disciplined #donkey #family

People in general are used to seeing me as the naughty girl because that's what they've always cast me as. ↗

— Eartha Kitt

#because #cast #general #girl #me