#naughty

Why send roses? Wouldn’t it be more romantic to deliver a dozen orgasms? For only $19.95, I’ll deliver them to your woman any day of the year. But be sure to book early for Valentine’s Day.
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— Jarod Kintz

#flowers #funny #humor #love #naughty

We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation. ↗

— Lily Tomlin

#masturbation #men #naughty #sex #men

Can you tell by where my eyes are looking what I’m thinking? Hint: I’m staring directly at your vagina.
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— Jarod Kintz

#hint #men #naughty #naughty-thoughts #obvious

I have a whisper like a zipper. Your secret is safe in my pants.
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— Jarod Kintz

#humor #naughty #pants #safe #safety

Edwina knew things with Greg had just about run their course. She'd bedded him, and bought him clothes, and now it was time for the polite push out the door. Of course she wished her latest conquest all the best. If he was lucky, Greg would just fall right into some other powerful woman's bed. If not . . . well, if not he'd just have to do the old-fashioned thing and look for work. Though darling Greggy-poo didn't really seem the type. Edwina studied him while he slept by the pool, drinking in that tight behind and those bulging muscles for the last time. The trouble with younger men, she thought, was that they were so damned good at sex that they really didn't have to be good at anything else. ↗

— Barbara Taylor Bradford

#older-women #men

Of course, you’d warm up faster if you took your clothes off. ↗

— Stephenie Meyer

#jacob-black #nakedness #naughty #sweet-talk #talking

I always thought of photography as a naughty thing to do - that was one of my favorite things about it, and when I first did it, I felt very perverse. ↗

— Diane Arbus

#always #did #favorite #favorite things #felt

Actors are the best and the worst of people. They're like kids. When they're good, they're very very good. When they're bad they're very very naughty. ↗

— Kenneth Branagh

#best #good #kids #like #naughty

I think Australians do well here because we feel a bit naughty, like we're in America and if they only knew how much fun we were having, we'd all get thrown out, you know. ↗

— Melissa George

#australians #because #bit #feel #fun

I think it's great to see how they've grown up, not just as actors but as people. They're still very much the same kids that I met many years ago. They've grown up and they are funny and wicked and naughty and bright, and I think as actors their work is just getting better and better. They've blossomed. ↗

— David Heyman

#better #blossomed #bright #funny #getting