#naughty

good girls go to heaven and bad girls go everywhere ↗

— Helen Gurley Brown

#humor #naughty #sex #virginity #humor

The opportunity was too perfect to miss. Harry crept silently around behind Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle, bent down, and scooped a large handful of mud out of the path. 'We were just talking about your friend Hagrid,' Malfoy said to Ron. 'Just trying to imagine what he's saying to the Committee for the Disposal of Dangerous Creatures. D'you think he'll cry when they cut off his hippogriff's-' SPLAT. Malfoy's head jerked back as the mud hit him; his silverblond hair was suddenly dripping in muck. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor #malfoy #mud #naughty #sneaky

I was often very, incredibly naughty, and if I didn't come home at tea time I used to be sent to bed without any dinner. But people used to bring me things: I was better fed in bed. ↗

— Diane Cilento

#bed #better #bring #come #dinner

Men are my hobby, if I ever got married I'd have to give it up. ↗

— Mae West

#naughty #risque #marriage

She was pleased to have him come and never sorry to see him go. ↗

— Dorothy Parker

#naughty #sex #sex

Let's be naughty and save Santa the trip. ↗

— Gary Allan

#naughty #santa #save #trip

I want to be a naughty pirate, because when I put on that eye patch, it barely covers my genitals. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #genitals #hilarious #humor #naughty

The list of women he’s slept with is longer than his penis. The list is three inches long.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #naughty #penis #sex #slut

My wife, a schoolteacher, very disciplined. If you think I'm tough, trust me, and wait till you see when the children are on the naughty step. It's hilarious. So we decided that I'm going to work like a donkey and provide amazing support for the family. ↗

— Gordon Ramsay

#children #decided #disciplined #donkey #family

Right from the start, I loved the works of Mark Twain. Every time I read about Tom Sawyer, I'd go out and do something low-level naughty, just like him. ↗

— John Grisham

#every #every time #go #him #i