#naughty

The list of women he’s slept with is longer than his penis. The list is three inches long.
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— Jarod Kintz

#humor #naughty #penis #sex #slut

When I sing, it sounds like I’m gargling spaghetti. Is it any wonder that women lust after me and mail me their panties? (Mail to: Jarod Kintz/12358 Fibonacci Way/Jacksonville, Fl 32258)
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— Jarod Kintz

#food #lust #mail #music #naughty

The cucumber is just about the healthiest sex toy ever. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #naughty #funny

We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation. ↗

— Lily Tomlin

#masturbation #men #naughty #sex #men

Can you tell by where my eyes are looking what I’m thinking? Hint: I’m staring directly at your vagina.
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— Jarod Kintz

#hint #men #naughty #naughty-thoughts #obvious

I'm doing naughty things, I'm drinking too much, I'm going to clubs. It really didn't matter to me, other than the fact that some parents wouldn't let their kids hang out with me. ↗

— Macaulay Culkin

#doing #drinking #fact #going #hang

Blood rushed to the regions of my body that I associated with naughtiness, and I was powerless to stop it. ↗

— Kat Lowe

#lust #naughty #dreams

He’s an even-tempered stallion. What he lacks in stamina he makes up for in speed, kind of like most of the men I’ve slept with. ↗

— Lila Shaw

#naughty-humor #men

Queen Latifah used to help me out with my kids, because while we were all out on tour - Public Enemy, Naughty By Nature, Queen Latifah, Heavy D - when Public Enemy went onstage, I didn't have anybody solid to watch my kids. So, Latifah would help me out. ↗

— Flavor Flav

#because #enemy #heavy #help #i

If we're doing this for ten hours, I'm going to need a little incentive to stay motivated.' Patch hooked his elbow around my neck and dragged me into a kiss.'Everytime you strip my sword, I owe you a kiss. How's that sound?'I bit my lip to keep from giggling.'That sounds really dirty.' Patch waggled his brows.'Look whose mind just rolled into the gutter. Two kisses per strip. Any objections?' I pulledon an innocent face.'None whatsoever. ↗

— Becca Fitzpatrick

#humor