#naughty

I want to be a naughty pirate, because when I put on that eye patch, it barely covers my genitals. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #genitals #hilarious #humor #naughty

When I sing, it sounds like I’m gargling spaghetti. Is it any wonder that women lust after me and mail me their panties? (Mail to: Jarod Kintz/12358 Fibonacci Way/Jacksonville, Fl 32258)
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— Jarod Kintz

#food #lust #mail #music #naughty

I still remember her meandering Mississippi kiss. I sipped it like a riverboat captain in the desert. Ah, to be young and naughtily nautical. 
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— Jarod Kintz

#kiss #mississippi #naughty #nautical #riverboat-captain

You took advantage of me while I was sleeping," she said breathlessly. "That's not fair." Gentry's hand moved over her hip in a slow circle."I seldom play fair. It's usually easier to cheat." A sudden laugh bubbled in Lottie's throat. "You are the most shameless man I've ever encountered." "Probably," he conceded, pushing her hair aside and lowering his smiling mouth to the back of her neck. ↗

— Lisa Kleypas

#naughty-funny #funny

She texted me telling me her mom was dying, so I did the right thing and texted her back a picture of my erect penis and said, “Let’s start a new family.”
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— Jarod Kintz

#dying #family #funny #humor #inappropriate

Queen Latifah used to help me out with my kids, because while we were all out on tour - Public Enemy, Naughty By Nature, Queen Latifah, Heavy D - when Public Enemy went onstage, I didn't have anybody solid to watch my kids. So, Latifah would help me out. ↗

— Flavor Flav

#because #enemy #heavy #help #i

I think Australians do well here because we feel a bit naughty, like we're in America and if they only knew how much fun we were having, we'd all get thrown out, you know. ↗

— Melissa George

#australians #because #bit #feel #fun

If we're doing this for ten hours, I'm going to need a little incentive to stay motivated.' Patch hooked his elbow around my neck and dragged me into a kiss.'Everytime you strip my sword, I owe you a kiss. How's that sound?'I bit my lip to keep from giggling.'That sounds really dirty.' Patch waggled his brows.'Look whose mind just rolled into the gutter. Two kisses per strip. Any objections?' I pulledon an innocent face.'None whatsoever. ↗

— Becca Fitzpatrick

#humor

Just because I look sexy on the cover of Rolling Stone doesn't mean I'm naughty. ↗

— Britney Spears

#cover #i #just #just because #look

My favorite color on canvas is nudity.

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— Jarod Kintz

#canvas #color #naughty #nude #nudity