#naughty

When I hear your name, I involuntarily clench my butt cheeks. Is that love? I don’t know—I’m not Nicholas Sparks.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#clench #hear #hearing #knowledge #listen

You took advantage of me while I was sleeping," she said breathlessly. "That's not fair." Gentry's hand moved over her hip in a slow circle."I seldom play fair. It's usually easier to cheat." A sudden laugh bubbled in Lottie's throat. "You are the most shameless man I've ever encountered." "Probably," he conceded, pushing her hair aside and lowering his smiling mouth to the back of her neck. ↗

— Lisa Kleypas

#naughty-funny #funny

A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is a man who hopes they are. ↗

— Chauncey Mitchell Depew

#humor #naughty #humor

We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation. ↗

— Lily Tomlin

#masturbation #men #naughty #sex #men

Can you tell by where my eyes are looking what I’m thinking? Hint: I’m staring directly at your vagina.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#hint #men #naughty #naughty-thoughts #obvious

Blood rushed to the regions of my body that I associated with naughtiness, and I was powerless to stop it. ↗

— Kat Lowe

#lust #naughty #dreams

I have a whisper like a zipper. Your secret is safe in my pants.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #naughty #pants #safe #safety

Of course, you’d warm up faster if you took your clothes off. ↗

— Stephenie Meyer

#jacob-black #nakedness #naughty #sweet-talk #talking

Like a 9-5 business at 4:59 pm, her legs were open.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#closed #naughty #open #sex #business

Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go somewhere and read the book, I might have a little fun. ↗

— Groucho Marx

#humor #innuendo #naughty #humor