#nonsense

I unwrapped my love for her like one might unwrap leftovers. Gotta eat up the old stuff first, as a cannibal might say in a retirement home.
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— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#age #cannibal #cannibalism #death #food

Well, I never heard it before, but it sounds uncommon nonsense. ↗

— Lewis Carroll

#nonsense

I only sing in the shower. I would join a choir, but I don’t think my bathtub can hold that many people.
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— Jarod Kintz

#bathtub #choir #kinky #music #musical

The results of decades of neurotransmitter-depletion studies point to one inescapable conclusion: low levels or serotonin, norepinephrine or dopamine do not cause depression. here is how the authors of the most complete meta-analysis of serotonin-depletion studies summarized the data: "Although previously the monoamine systems were considered to be responsible for the development of major depressive disorder (MDD), the available evidence to date does not support a direct causal relationship with MDD. There is no simple direct correlation of serotonin or norepinephrine levels in the brain and mood.' In other words, after a half-century of research, the chemical-imbalance hypothesis as promulgated by the drug companies that manufacture SSRIs and other antidepressants is not only with clear and consistent support, but has been disproved by experimental evidence. ↗

— Irving Kirsch

#depression #nonsense #dating

I want to get the huge wart that looks like a nose removed from my back, but first I'm going to try to grow a mustache underneath it, to make it less noticeable. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#blemish #funny #grotesque #humor #mustache

I would pour you a glass of wine, but wouldn’t it be more romantic if you sipped it out of my armpit? ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#alcohol #drinking #foreplay #funny #humor

Instead of a Lemonade Stand, I should open up a “You know what I can’t stand?” Stand. I’ll sell rants in small, medium, and large.
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— Jarod Kintz

#drink #drinking #entrepreneur #entrepreneurship #funny

Like Alexander the Great and Caesar, I’m out to conquer the world. But first I have to stop at Walmart and pick up some supplies.
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— Jarod Kintz

#alexander-the-great #bizarre #caesar #conquer #funny

Xxxx xxxx x xxxx, xxxxx xxx x xxx xxx x xxxx. Xxxx xxxx xxxx x xxxxx xxxx xx Xxxxxxx. ↗

— Pseudonymous Bosch

#funny #humor #nonsense #pseudonymous #the-name-of-this-book-is-secret

I made myself an “I Love Jennifer” jacket out of my old “I Love Jenn” jacket. Two girls, one continuous love. The I Love Jennifer is a little off-center, but then so am I. Better than being self-centered, as my clone would probably say. 
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— Jarod Kintz

#clone #clothing #commitment #devotion #i-love-jenn