#ny

If I had a funny thought and a runny nose, but only had one napkin and no paper, I’d rather use that napkin to write on than blow my nose. After all, that’s what sleeves are for.
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— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #funny #humor #odd #strange

Wedded she some years, and to a man Of fifty, and such husbands are in plenty; And yet, I think, instead of such a ONE 'Twere better to have TWO of five and twenty... ↗

— George Gordon Byron

#truth #funny

If you were to talk about your nose, I’d take everything you’d say at face value. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #funny

Best friends one, and now we have almost nothing to say to each other. It was interesting, how he had joined those guys and I just stayed on my own. I didn't like it or dislike it. It was just funny that things had turned out that way. ↗

— Markus Zusak

#friends #funny #interesting #like #the-way-things-turn-out

A princess always takes care that her words are honeyed, for she may have to eat them ↗

— Christina Dodd

#funny #princesses #funny

One brick is not a wall. Unless you’re an ant, and then it’s not only a wall, it’s a building—a building that has no doors, windows, or people in the form of managers that I’d like to smash in the face with a building (or a brick).
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

It's like when you're on hold and a recorded voice comes on telling you how much the company values you as a customer. Really? Then maybe you should hire some more support people so I don't have to wait thirty minutes to get help. ↗

— Jason Fried

#funny

Okay. Take a peek, but I swear if you try anything funny, I’ll beat your head in with my flashlight. ↗

— Shannon K. Butcher

#book- #funny

A blanket could be used to suppress yawns. Just curl up in the technological wonder that is a blanket, lay your head back, and let the miracle of science cure your yawns.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

You're a big boy, No. You'll figure something out. Just make sure it includes the groveling." -Abby It come to all of us. Especially those of us foolish enough to fall in love with women who have minds of their own. If you will recall, your own sister had a few things she had to forgive me for before we could move on with our relationship." -Rule There's a big difference between a little kidnapping and what he did." -Abby "You did not call it a 'little' anything at the time, sweet. You were furious with me. Believe me, the groveling does do wonders." -Rule ↗

— Christine Warren

#realtionship-problems #forgiveness