#ny

She never called her son by any name but John; 'love' and 'dear', and such like terms, were reserved for Fanny. ↗

— Elizabeth Gaskell

#funny-and-random #mothers #names #sobriquet #sons

Dalai Lama: an oriental pope who sells his followers indulgences that take effect after ten thousand lifetimes. ↗

— Bauvard

#dalai-lama #funny #humor #funny

The skanky vamp biting for bucks on the dark end of state street is your ex boyfriend?" William asked. The look on William's face implied he hoped I washed after interacting with Parrish ↗

— Tate Hallaway

#garnet-lacey #william #funny

He was warm, partly because he had on many layers, and partly because boys whoa re part wolf and part wind do not get cold. ↗

— Dave Eggers

#funny #smile #funny

You must be a blast on long car rides.” “Oh, I am. You haven't experienced fun until you try to fuck in the front seat of a Civic. ↗

— Nenia Campbell

#funny #humor #michael #sarcasm #sex

I lost something magical in the process of growing up – my disillusionment. ↗

— Bauvard

#cynicism #disillusionment #funny #growing-up #humor

No, I don't want you to leave. I'm just grabbing your coat and nudging your toward the door for fun #AHOLE ↗

— Andy Ostrom

#cooking #entertaining #etiquette #funny #humor

Injuries heal, but wrinkles are the scars of time. ↗

— Bauvard

#healing #humor #injuries #scars #wrinkles

The only way to tell a fable is to introduce a human. The only way to tell a proverb is to introduce your grandfather. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #proverbs #funny

Can I just ask, after we find this guy, can we talk about the Vibrator Ceremony? I’m thinking of making us all kind of choir like robes to wear but with sequins and some satin sashes as belts. Maybe in chartreuse. ↗

— Kristen Ashley

#vibrator #funny