#pet

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater, suggest that he wear a tail. ↗

— Fran Lebowitz

#pets

You said I could pet you as long as I liked.” “Didn't say I wouldn't try to fuck you in the middle of the petting.” Her eyes snapped up to meet his. “That's feline logic. You're a wolf.” “I'm learning from the best. ↗

— Nalini Singh

#riley #pets

I hate to be obvious," added the Scarecrow, "but you'd have saved yourself a heap of trouble if you weren't too cheap to invest in a leash, Dorothy. ↗

— Gregory Maguire

#pets

One could mention many loveable traits in Smee. For instance, after killing, it was his spectacles he wiped instead of his weapon. ↗

— J.M. Barrie

#humor #irony #j-m-barrie #killing #neverland

There was no twinkle in his eyes. "Maybe I just love some of you. Maybe not enough." Tiger Lily blinked at him, and she didn't understand how anyone could only love a part. Her greedy heart didn't work that way. ↗

— Jodi Lynn Anderson

#peter-pan #tiger-lily #love

Cats are like walking brooms you can actually comfortably cuddle with.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#cat #cats #clean #floor #funny

Grab life by the tail, and then pet it.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#animal #funny #humor #life #love

A brick has no legs, so it probably slithers like a snake. Therefore, a brick might make a good pet. And at least you wouldn’t have to walk it.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #dog

It’s true—there are only, like, two songs about rainbows, including that one. He should be asking why there are so few songs about rainbows. ↗

— Cheryl Cory

#funny #humor #kermit #muppets #music

She [Pansy] pushed in next to Poppy so that she could see him around the guard's elbow. She was as tall as Poppy, with shining dark-brown hair and blue eyes. An utterly lovely girl, as all the princesses were, yet Oliver thought Petunia was far more beautiful. ↗

— Jessica Day George

#jessica-day-george #oliver #petunia #princess-of-the-silver-woods #romance