#politics

I have left orders to be awakened at any time during national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting. ↗

— Ronald Reagan

#humor #napping #politics #humor

Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book. ↗

— Ronald Reagan

#bad #book #disgrace #many #politics

I was raised the old-fashioned way, with a stern set of moral principles: Never lie, cheat, steal or knowingly spread a venereal disease. Never speed up to hit a pedestrian or, or course, stop to kick a pedestrian who has already been hit. From which it followed, of course, that one would never ever -- on pain of deletion from dozens of Christmas card lists across the country -- vote Republican. ↗

— Barbara Ehrenreich

#politics #republicans #humor

Capitalism tries for a delicate balance: It attempts to work things out so that everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from getting violent and trying to take other people’s stuff. ↗

— George Carlin

#economics-philosophy #humor #politics #humor

It's not that the Democrats are playing checkers and the Republicans are playing chess. It's that the Republicans are playing chess and the Democrats are in the nurse's office because once again they glued their balls to their thighs. ↗

— Jon Stewart

#politics #humor

Obama is not a secret Kenyon, or a secret Muslim, he's a secret Republican. ↗

— Bill Maher

#politics #president-obama #humor

Indeed, when I came to Italy, I expected to encounter a certain amount of resentment, but have received instead empathy from most Italians. In any reference to George Bush, people only nod to Berlusconi, saying","We understand how it is - we have one, too. ↗

— Elizabeth Gilbert

#george-bush #humor #italy #politics #humor

The only way I won't be re-elected is if I were found in bed with a dead girl or a live boy. ↗

— Edwin Edwards

#politics-louisiana #humor

Tutti gli animali sono uguali, ma alcuni sono più uguali degli altri ↗

— George Orwell

#politics #humor

But I have to say this in defense of humankind: In no matter what era in history, including the Garden of Eden, everybody just got here. And, except for the Garden of Eden, there were already all these games going on that could make you act crazy, even if you weren't crazy to begin with. Some of the crazymaking games going on today are love and hate, liberalism and conservatism, automobiles and credit cards, golf, and girls' basketball. ↗

— Kurt Vonnegut

#crazy #hate #liberalism #love #mankind