#random

You are the shuckiest shuck faced shuck in the world! ↗

— James Dashner

#humor #random #the-maze-runner #funny

If I had a dollar for every time a random woman walked up to me and tried to seduce me, I'd have 50 cents. That's assuming drag queens are half price. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#cents #discount #dollar #drag-queen #drag-queens

When you go onto the internet, if you really rummage around randomly then how do you hope to find something of any of value? ↗

— Tim Berners Lee

#around #find #go #hope #how

I look a lot busier than I am, as I'm actually a rather sporadic, random person and I'll play a few gigs and then disappear for a while. ↗

— Paul McCartney

#am #busier #disappear #few #gigs

I'm Magnus Bane." he went on in a soothing tone, stretching out his ringed hands. Blue sparks had begun to dance between them like bioluminescence dancing water. "I'm the warlock who's here to cure you. Didn't they tell you I was comming?" "I know who you are, but..." Maia looked dazed. "You look so... so... shiny. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#magnus-bane #maia #mortal-instruments #funny

This wretched brain gave way, and I became a wreck at random driven, without one glimpse of reason or heaven. ↗

— Thomas More

#brain #driven #gave #glimpse #heaven

If a terrorist group wanted to hit Britain, all they'd have to do is kill 100 random celebrities. The country would have a nervous breakown. ↗

— Chris Morris

#celebrities #country #group #hit #kill

A rescue mission doesn't involve going in and just taking a child and leaving. You can't just choose any child at random. Every kid has a case that is based on that child's original family. So, we made it over to a village, found the child; we were interacting with the child. ↗

— Jason Mraz

#based #case #child #choose #every

Our problems started in Dallas, when the fire-breathing sheep destroyed the King Tut exhibit. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#destruction #earthquakes #floods #funny #funny-and-random

My name is Davis Davis. And don’t call me Mr. Davis! How would you like it if I called you Mr. Archibald, or whatever your first name is? ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #random #funny