#random

A brick could be used to teach men how to dance, by learning balance. But a blanket could also teach men how to dance, by providing motivation to get good so they can get some under the covers later.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be used as a musical instrument. It doesn’t matter how bad it sounds, because I’ll be the band’s lead singer, and my sexy voice is like melted butter on a corn on the cob lodged directly into your anus. 
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

Sleeping in a tinfoil suit keeps me warmer and helps prepare me for my voyage to the moon. Would you care for some licorice? 
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— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #licorice #moon #non-sequitur #preparation

A brick could be used to liven up urinal chatter. Also, instead of just repeating “Yeah” while the guy peeing next to you is talking, try a more positive affirmation, like pinching his butt cheek. 
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

Terrorists destroy randomly. ↗

— Bill Ayers

#randomly #terrorists

Telling your story out loud is the way human beings communicate. We don't normally think up words, translate how to spell them and then move our fingers up and down over this randomly arranged set of keys to make the same letters appear on a screen. ↗

— Kevin J. Anderson

#arranged #beings #communicate #down #fingers

With random urinalysis, there's a clear choice - either get high or go to jail. ↗

— Brian Baird

#clear #either #get #go #high

Maybe life is random, but I doubt it. ↗

— Steven Tyler

#i #life #maybe #random

A brick could be used to bestow gratitude upon your favorite (or least favorite) politician. Let them know your approval level by giving them the gift that says both Thank You—and Fuck You.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#crazy #funny #funny-and-random #humor #love