#random

I may not agree with a word that you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it. ↗

— Voltaire

#textbook #death

Now you got us whammied with the curse of squirmy death. ↗

— Richard Laymon

#humor #random #death

We all must die, but only I put the “must” in mustard. Sadly, the only man alive who understands what I mean is dead. RIP Mitch Ketchup. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#death #funny #random #death

some days are like being pecked to death by ducks ↗

— Unknown

#death

Ish #19 "If your diet soda has zero calories, zero sugar and zero fat, what the hell are you drinking? ↗

— Regina Griffin

#funny-but-true #funny-quotes #humor #humorous #diet

A blanket could be used as a parachute, for jumping out of dreams.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be used to deny you your dreams. And a blanket could be used as a gateway to all your dreams. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

The house had a name. The Banana House. It was carved onto a piece of sandstone above the front door. It made no sense to anyone. ↗

— Hilary McKay

#funny-and-random #house #family

The day my dad left my mom and I was the second saddest day of my life. The saddest day was the next day, when he returned home.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#dad #family #funny #humor #life

A blanket could be used to say I’m sorry without using words, gestures, body language, facial expressions, or telepathy. I’ve always thought it was better to show than tell anyway, so I hope you can forgive me.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny