#rca

I have a theory that as human beings get older, chemicals are released into the brain to prepare us for the end. Sort of like how the nurse lubes your ass up before the anus-cam. It makes the whole thing a lot easier to swallow. Easier, not enjoyable. ↗

— Kris D'Agostino

#death-and-dying #humor #life #life-and-living #realist

I guess it's true what they say. There are no straight men in the trenches." ~Jace ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#clary-fray #funny #humor #jace-wayland #misquoted

Yes, because a vampire slumber party is the pinnacle of safety conscious behavior. ↗

— Stephenie Meyer

#funny #sarcastic #funny

Sarcasm is lost in print. ↗

— Jon Cryer

#lost #print #sarcasm

She'd met Colin on a Monday. She'd kissed him on a Friday. Twelve years later. She sighed. It seemed fairly pathetic. ↗

— Julia Quinn

#humor #sarcasm #funny

My instincts told me that death would somehow be…different. But my rational mind reminded me that I had probably tempted fate one too many times. At least, I thought it was my rational mind. It sure seemed like the usual voice inside my head. Thank God there was only one of them. ↗

— M.A. George

#paranormal-romance #sarcastic-humor #voices-inside-your-head #death

Sarcasm doesn't translate in print at all. ↗

— Megan Fox

#print #sarcasm #translate

The over-weight and out of shape guy who owned the house had apparently decided that having a half-million dollar house meant that he couldn’t afford to hire someone to clean out his gutters. Now he was dead with what looked to me like a broken neck after the ladder had slipped. He’d taken the plunge into his fancy landscaping—complete with rock garden. But hey, his fucking gutters were clean. ↗

— Diana Rowland

#dying #garden #humor #irony #sarcasm

Avoid sarcasm. Don't insist on the last word. ↗

— Ford Frick

#insist #last #sarcasm #word

Keeping the Union together, freeing slaves and being assassinated all added up to creating 'Lincoln the myth.' He overcame a lot of his own prejudices and became what many would consider the first black man's president. ↗

— Henry Louis Gates

#assassinated #became #being #black #consider