#sarcasm

When all else fails...try smoking a good cigar and have a stiff drink. If that doesn't work...have another. ↗

— Timothy Pina

#jack #sarcasm #humor

As if I'd had time to drug it in the two milliseconds she'd let me out of her sight. ↗

— Nenia Campbell

#humor #sarcasm #survival #humor

She's my best friend, and I know she means well, but as she talks I'm mentally calculating all the ways I could silence her. I'm bigger than her... I wonder if I could use my straw for some sort of MacGyver inspired weapon. ↗

— Steph Campbell

#sarcasm #humor

I don't understand German myself. I learned it at school, but forgot every word of it two years after I had left, and have felt much better ever since. ↗

— Jerome K. Jerome

#german #humor #sarcasm #men

But the people only talked about how ugly her face looked. No one even bothered to mention what a sweet, kindhearted girl she was. Now, don’t be amazed! That is just the nature of humans, to notice the one flaw among a person’s ten good qualities. ↗

— Janaki Sooriyarachchi

#irony #sarcasm #nature

Well, it just figures," Younger told him, like a man explaining his religion. ↗

— Richard Stark

#sarcasm #religion

Andrew just shrugged, and I fiddled with the napkin in my lap while glancing idly around the restaurant. The obligatory mirrors hung on the walls, and there was one of those fountains with fake lily pads in the entryway. The restaurant was also lit like a mine shaft. I've never understood why dim lighting is supposed to be so romantic. Night vision belongs into a Paris Hilton sex tape - not in a restaurant that could potentially poison me with peanut sauce. ↗

— Alicia Thompson

#restaurants #sarcasm #romantic

While the Clave disapproves of trespassers, oddly they take an even darker view of beheading and skinning people. They're peculiar that way. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humour #sarcasm #will-herondale #humour

Imitating someone is the mediocre way of getting humanity back to what we evolved from. ↗

— Shubham Choudhary

#sarcasm #satire #satire

Listen, Peaches, trickery is what humans are all about," said the voice of Maurice. "They're so keen on tricking one another all the time that they elect governments to do it for them. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humor #politics #sarcasm #trickery #voting