#tire

Her heart was broken perhaps, but it was a small inexpensive organ of local manufacture. In a wider and grander way she felt things had been simplified. ↗

— Evelyn Waugh

#observation #satire #love

[On School Uniforms] Don't these schools do enough damage making all these kids think alike, now they have to make them look alike too? It's not a new idea, either. I first saw it in old newsreels from the 1930s, but it was hard to understand because the narration was in German. ↗

— George Carlin

#history #humor #satire #school #uniform

Well, fame is a drug and when you take it away from an addict, things can get ugly. ↗

— Melissa Jo Peltier

#reality-tv #satire #television #humor

Bride, n. - A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. ↗

— Ambrose Bierce

#happiness #humor #marriage #matrimony #satire

Were you terrified, Murgatroyd?" Murgatroyd nodded eagerly. "There you go, girl: You're a terrorist. You make me twitchy, and under Article Forty-One of the 2000 Terrorism Bill, that's all I need. Time for some reasonable force, I think. ↗

— China Miéville

#satire #humor

Though firm, we are never too firm, though we love fun, we never have fun in a silly way that makes us appear ridiculous, unless that is our intent. ↗

— George Saunders

#humor #satire #humor

What is the secret of life?’ I asked. ‘I forget,’ said Sandra. ‘Protein,’ the bartender declared. ‘They found something out about protein.‘ ‘Yeah,’ said Sandra, ‘that’s it. ↗

— Kurt Vonnegut

#satire #humor

You wanna know why the world is f**ked? This is why, this is exactly why…right here. Get a pen, write this down, this is important…The world is f**ked up because I eat WonderBread preserved with formaldehyde that lasts three weeks and will never grow mold as long as it’s kept in its magic silver bag. The world is f**ked up because I know my cans of tuna have mercury in it. The world is f**ked up because I know my flake light tuna and WonderBread are poisonous, yet I still eat them! ↗

— Shannon Lyndsy

#humor #satire #humor

When the world has once begun to use us ill, it afterwards continues the same treatment with less scruple or ceremony, as men do to a whore. ↗

— Jonathan Swift

#inspirational #life #satire #humor

Our town was known for two things--no, three: salted fish, expertly dyed fabrics, and corruption. ↗

— Angela Elwell Hunt

#humor #satire #humor