#u

Lucas: I wanted to talk to you after class, but you disappeared. Me: I have another class right after. One of those profs who stops talking, stares at you and waits until you get to your seat if you're late. Lucas: I would probably just walk to my seat even slower. ;) ↗

— Tammara Webber

#texting #funny

Normal? I'm not normal enough for you?" Carlos says. "You want this guy instead? Did you notice his hair doesn't move? That's not normal. You want to date him again, go ahead. Hell, if you want to marry him and be Kiara Barra the rest of your life, be my guest." "That's not want I--" "I don't want to hear it. Hasta," Carlos says, ignoring me and walking away. I feel my face heat in embarrassment as I look at Michael. "Sorry. Carlos can he abrasive sometimes." "Don't apologize. The guy obviously has major issues and, for the record, my hair moves... when I want it to. ↗

— Simone Elkeles

#rules-of-attraction #dating

I might appear confident and chatty, but I spend most of my time laughing at jokes I don't find funny, saying things I don't really mean - because at the end of the day that's what we're all trying to do: fit in, one way or another, desperately trying to pretend we're all the same. ↗

— Tabitha Suzuma

#forbidden #love #pretention #tabitha-suzuma #funny

Why did you tell her I'm your boyfriend? Why doesn't she know about your real one? - Timmy He's English! And Mom...Mom hates foreigners! - Cat ↗

— Jeaniene Frost

#cat #funny #timmy #funny

I know I'm delicious. Nummy.....nummy. -Vlad ↗

— Jeaniene Frost

#vlad #funny

What if I was the sexual equivalent of popcorn? Suitable for light snacking only? ↗

— Rachel Vincent

#kaylee #funny

If I promise you I'll show up fifteen minutes late, I'll always arrive on time. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#late #on-time #promise #punctuality #funny

I hate you' she said to me one afternoon. 'I really, really hate you.' Call me sensitive, but I couldn't help but take it personally. ↗

— David Sedaris

#hate #sensitive #funny

I tell you, I'm half tempted to break into CIA custody just so I can break Joe Solomon out of CIA custody just so I can break Joe Solomon. ↗

— Ally Carter

#cia #funny #funny

She was an idiot. An adorable, gorgeous, feisty, funny, sweet, sexy idiot. ↗

— Sarah Mayberry

#funny #humour #romance #funny