#witty

My waist is a 30. The jeans are a 28. When I fart, the Reeboks blow off. ↗

— Steve Kluger

#self-consciousness #witty #humor

I believe in evolution in the sense that a short-tempered man is the successor of a crybaby. ↗

— Criss Jami

#belief #clever #comparison #control #crying

She was busy trying to stab me to death with her umbrella and I was busy trying to dodge." He made a little face. "She was better at her stabbing than I was about dodging. ↗

— Emma Goldrick

#business

Generally speaking, there is more wit than talent in the world. Society swarms with witty people who lack talent. ↗

— Antoine Rivarol

#lack #more #people #society #speaking

Brody's not gay. But then he kisses a boy. So he might be gay? No, Brody's not gay. But he loves this boy. So after much delaying, debating, and waiting, the answer comes clear...nothing is ever perfectly straight. It's slash. ↗

— Dart Gray

#pun #witty #love

And then the second thing you have to do is go and see your son. That is a duty of love, Andrew. It's as simple as that. A duty of love. Do you understand what I'm saying to you? ↗

— Alexander McCall Smith

#witty #love

Neil Mars?! I could blame him for having killer looks but he could not be faulted for this. He couldn’t have chosen that name for himself. No wonder he tortures his Mom by calling her by her name. ↗

— Rucy Ban

#funny #humor #love #romantic #witty

Guys like him? They were the worst kind. All looks and no heart. Guys not like him? They were all deceiving, freaking asshats. ↗

— Rucy Ban

#love #passion #sarcastic #sexy #witty

Most wives fuck their husbands, just to ensure financial support. Marriage is just a form of legalized prostitution, when you really thought about it. ↗

— K. Syrah

#witty #marriage

Dedication and enthusiams are the greatest rewards for learning ↗

— Isabel Ramos

#knowledge-of-self #thoughts-from-the-heart #witty #inspirational