#y

I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him. ↗

— Henny Youngman

#great #him #horse #horses #i

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle. ↗

— Henny Youngman

#drinks #eighty #glasses #grandmother #need

You look like a talent scout for a cemetery. ↗

— Henny Youngman

#like #look #scout #talent #you

If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas. ↗

— Henny Youngman

#had #life #live #over #overseas

My son complains about headaches. I tell him all the time, when you get out of bed, it's feet first! ↗

— Henny Youngman

#bed #complains #feet #first #get

You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready. ↗

— Henny Youngman

#ready #tell #wit #you

A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student. ↗

— Henny Youngman

#man #poor #self-taught #student #usually

I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car. ↗

— Henny Youngman

#does #get #gift #his #how

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. ↗

— Henny Youngman

#brother-in-law #died #expert #first #first time

Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to. ↗

— Henny Youngman

#die #jewish #men #their #want