#y

Haruna: If you don't fall for her, she might kill you!...I'll protect you with all I've got! Yoh: Thanks. Sometimes I feel like I got myself a boyfriend instead of a girlfriend. ↗

— Kazune Kawahara

#humor #yoh #humor

He lost himself somewhere on the harmless side of lunacy, slightly south of innocuous but definetly north of demented. ↗

— Tony Vigorito

#humor #just-a-couple-of-days #humor

You sure are a sweet girl, Scout. I'm half tempted to keep you." "Ummm... Thanks?" Knowing she was a potential Alpha I worried about what "keeping me" might entail. Probably chains. And whips. And maybe a dog collar. And now I was going to have to live with scary Fifty Shades Aunt Rachel pictures living in my head for all time. ↗

— Tammy Blackwell

#funny-quotes #funny

Ginny, listen . . . I can’t be involved with you anymore. We’ve got to stop seeing each other. We can’t be together.” “It’s for some stupid, noble reason, isn’t it? ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor #noble #humor

Knowledge may be power, but half of what I know I wish I could forget. ↗

— Carroll Bryant

#comical #humor #humorist #humorous #philisophical

No idea how you figured out the riddle, but you scooped the first prize. Congratulations. You've just won a vacation to a big, relaxing place called a grave. ↗

— Jayde Scott

#humor #jayde-scott #vampires #humor

It turns out that Molly wasn't her mother's daughter in that respect. Charity was like the MacGuyver of the kitchen. She could whip up a five-course meal for twelve from an egg, two spaghetti noodles, some household chemicals, and a stick of chewing gum. Molly ... Molly once burned my egg. My boiled egg. I don't know how. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#domesticity #dresden-files #humor #humor

Maybe,” he said in a slow, rural drawl, “you could explain to me why I found you in the middle of an orgy.” “Well,” I said, “if you’re going to be in an orgy, the middle is the best spot, isn’t it. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #orgy #sarcasm #humor

I’m at the top of my game. And that game is Monopoly. I’m standing on the board right now.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#game #humor #monopoly #pinnacle #humor

You know what love means? It means loving the person you are now and not the person you want someone to be or the person they will be. ↗

— Samantha Stroh Bailey

#humor #romance-funny #romantic-comedy #funny