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Mark Twain

Read through the most famous quotes from Mark Twain




Memories which someday will become all beautiful when the last annoyance that encumbers them shall have faded out of our minds.


— Mark Twain


#memory #beauty

Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy, but sorrow. There is no humor in Heaven.


— Mark Twain


#humor

Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.


— Mark Twain


#approach #born #could #eighteen #eighty

If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And if it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first.


— Mark Twain


#humor

Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.


— Mark Twain


#humor

We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world and it's efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who don't know anything and can't read-


— Mark Twain


#men

I do not like an injurious lie, except when it injures somebody else.


— Mark Twain


#humor

New Year’s Day: Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.


— Mark Twain


#humor

In Boston they ask, how much does he know? In New York, how much is he worth? In Philadelphia, who were his parents?


— Mark Twain


#new-york-city #philadelphia #new-york-city

Ours is a terrible religion. The fleets of the world could swim in spacious comfort in the innocent blood it has spilt.


— Mark Twain


#religion #religion






About Mark Twain

Mark Twain Quotes




Did you know about Mark Twain?

But I have thought some more since then and I have read carefully the treaty of Paris [which ended the Spanish-American War] and I have seen that we do not intend to free but to subjugate the people of the Philippines. There were three versions found in his manuscripts made between 1897 and 1905: the Hannibal Eseldorf and Print Shop versions. He did state that "the goodness the justice and the mercy of God are manifested in His works" but also that "the universe is governed by strict and immutable laws" which determine "small matters" such as who dies in a pestilence.

Twain chose to pay all his pre-bankruptcy creditors in full though he had no responsibility to do this under the law. He also worked as a typesetter and contributed articles to his older brother Orion's newspaper. He achieved great success as a writer and public speaker.

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