#absurd

My armpits are not only rank, but they’re ranked number one in customer satisfaction. Try them for free or your money back. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#armpits #bizarre #customer-satisfaction #customers #free

If I offer you a glass of water, and bring back a cup of ice, I’m trying to teach you patience. And also that sometimes you get ice with no water, and later you’ll get water with no ice. Ah, but that’s life, no?
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#glass #guidance #ice #life #offer

Last week I placed a hand-written sign in front of my neighborhood that read, “Lost Mustache. Please do not feed. If found, contact Mouth,” and I left my phone number. Nobody’s called. Perhaps the neighborhood cat lady took it in and is petting it on her lap at this very moment. Ah, but that’s life, no?
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#cat-lady #cats #contact #lap #life

I just heard a very funny story about somebody who died yesterday, I'm sorry to say so but it was so absurd that you can't help laughing. And the person that was concerned about that story was laughing too. ↗

— Sophie Marceau

#absurd #concerned #died #funny #funny story

The world generally speaking is now drifting on a more and more devastating course towards the absurd target of extermination - or rather, to be more exact - of the northern hemisphere's towns, fields, and the people who have developed our civilization. ↗

— Alva Myrdal

#civilization #course #devastating #developed #drifting

Humanity should question itself, once more, about the absurd and always unfair phenomenon of war, on whose stage of death and pain only remain standing the negotiating table that could and should have prevented it. ↗

— Pope John Paul II

#absurd #always #could #death #humanity

The manufacture of desire isn't at the heart - if it isn't absurd to speak of a heart - of the media torrent. Chronic dissatisfaction is at the heart of the matter. ↗

— Todd Gitlin

#chronic #desire #dissatisfaction #heart #manufacture

The fact that an opinion has been widely held is no evidence whatever that it is not utterly absurd. ↗

— Bertrand Russell

#been #evidence #fact #held #opinion

When people conclude that all is futile, then the absurd becomes the norm. ↗

— Stanley Crouch

#becomes #conclude #futile #norm #people

My first feeling about the paper and the attitude is that it is absurd. ↗

— Arthur Holly Compton

#absurd #attitude #feeling #first #paper