#birthday

The summer of 2002 at the Wilson birthday party I met Van Dyke again and I made plans to have dinner with him. ↗

— Matthew Sweet

#birthday #birthday party #dinner #dyke #him

One thought I think every person eventually thinks is, “Holy shit, I’m going to die!” Sorry, I just turned thirty yesterday, so my mortality is on my mind.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#anguish #birthday #death #die #human

Link says if a girl says not to get her a birthday present that means get me a birthday present and make sure it’s jewelry. ↗

— Kami Garcia

#gift #jewelry #present #beauty

When I turn thirty, in thirty days or so, I might be feeling old, so I’ll probably call my grandma up, because as old as I’ll feel, she’ll be feeling older. Twelve years older.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#birthday #grandma #nonsense #old #old-age

It’s my birthday, who could be calling me? Probably my clone, wondering why he hasn’t been born yet. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#birthday #born #clone #communicate #communication

Seventeen, eh!" said Hagrid as he accepted a bucket-sized glass of wine from Fred. "Six years to the day we met, Harry, d’yeh remember it?" "Vaguely," said Harry, grinning up at him. "Didn’t you smash down the front door, give Dudley a pig’s tail, and tell me I was a wizard?" "I forge’ the details," Hagrid chortled. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#dursley #hagrid #harry-potter #humor #pig

The value of me is equal to 5097033198, but also 3051982. The first is my phone number, and the second is my birthday. I assign values to people. My fifth grade bus driver had a Cheeto factor of four. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #phone-number #value #equality

My girlfriend just bought me a portable toaster. And my birthday’s coming up, so I’m half expecting her to buy me a portable bathtub to go along with it. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#electrocution #funny #funny

I’ll be 30 in April. My birthday is March 5th. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #funny

My birthday is on a holiday, I just have to wait until I die and they commemorate me. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#commemorate #death #holiday #humor #immortalize