#birthday

My girlfriend just bought me a portable toaster. And my birthday’s coming up, so I’m half expecting her to buy me a portable bathtub to go along with it. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#electrocution #funny #funny

I’ll be 30 in April. My birthday is March 5th. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #funny

My birthday is on a holiday, I just have to wait until I die and they commemorate me. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#commemorate #death #holiday #humor #immortalize

Glen had a disability more disfiguring than a burn and more terrifying than cancer. Glen had been born on the day after Christmas. "My parents just combine my birthday with Christmas, that's all," he explained. But we knew this was a lie. Glen's parents just wrapped a couple of his Christmas presents in birthday-themed wrapping paper, stuck some candles in a supermarket cake, and had a dinner of Christmas leftovers. ↗

— Augusten Burroughs

#christmas #humor #humor

I grabbed a pile of dust, and holding it up, foolishly asked for as many birthdays as the grains of dust, I forgot to ask that they be years of youth. ↗

— Ovid

#youth

The year you were born marks only your entry into the world. Other years where you prove your worth, they are the ones worth celebrating. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#accomplishment #achieve #achievement #birth #birthday

Happy birthday,” she said. “And next time? Eat the stupid cupcake. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#claire-danvers #cupcake #morganville-vampires #shane-collins #short-story

I like to go to anybody else's birthday, and if I'm invited I'm a good guest. But I never celebrate my birthdays. I really don't care. ↗

— Mikhail Baryshnikov

#birthday #birthdays #care #celebrate #else

The main prank that we play with props is for people's birthdays. The special effects people will put a little explosive in the cake so it blows up in their face - that's always fun to play on a guest star, or one of the trainees or someone who's new. ↗

— Catherine Bell

#always #birthdays #blows #cake #effects

Abby touched her palm to my cheek. "You know what, Mr. Maddox?" "What, baby?" Her expression turned serious. "In another life, I could love you." I watched her for a moment, staring into her glassed over eyes. She was drunk, but just for a moment it didn't seem wrong to pretend that she meant it. "I might love you in this one. ↗

— Jamie McGuire

#beauty