#christmas

I had never before been a special fan of that great comedian Phyllis Diller, but she utterly won my heart this week by sending me an envelope that, when opened, contained a torn-off square of brown-bag paper of the kind suitable for latrine duty in an ill-run correctional facility. Duly unfurled, it carried a handwritten salutation reading as follows: Money's scarce Times are hard Here's your f****** Xmas card I could not possibly improve on the sentiment, but I don't think it ought to depend on the current austerities. Isn't Christmas a moral and aesthetic nightmare whether or not the days are prosperous? ↗

— Christopher Hitchens

#comedy #humour #phyllis-diller #money

Unless we make Christmas an occasion to share our blessings, all the snow in Alaska won't make it 'white'." ~ Bing Crosby (1904-1977), American singer and film actor. ↗

— Bing Crosby

#film

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. ↗

— Shirley Temple

#asked #autograph #believing #claus #department

My parents were kind of over protective people. Me and my sister had to play in the backyard all the time. They bought us bikes for Christmas but wouldn't let us ride in the street, we had to ride in the backyard. Another Christmas, my dad got me a basketball hoop and put it in the middle of the lawn! You can't dribble on grass. ↗

— Jimmy Fallon

#backyard #basketball #bikes #bought #christmas

During the holidays, everyone needs a break from studying for exams and Christmas shopping. I wanted to put together a diverse tour that rocks in many musical directions but always points to Christ. ↗

— TobyMac

#break #christ #christmas #directions #diverse

Mama Lo can get a bit nasty whenever I play with the cubs. She thinks I'm going to eat one, but they're not to my taste. Too hairy. Now if she'd let me skin one, I might be interested." (Simi) He laughed in spite of himself. "Are you joking about that?" (Gallagher) "Oh no. I never joke about hairy food. It's disgusting." (Simi) ↗

— Sherrilyn Kenyon

#food

I wouldn't recommend young kids see 'Speedway Junkie.' It's definitely an age-appropriate movie - dark and realistic and edgy. If young kids want to see me, go see the Christmas movie. ↗

— Jonathan Taylor Thomas

#dark #definitely #edgy #go #i

Once upon a time, the Reindeer took a running leap and jumped over the Northern Lights. But he jumped too low, and the long fur of his beautiful flowing tail got singed by the rainbow fires of the aurora. To this day the reindeer has no tail to speak of. But he is too busy pulling the Important Sleigh to notice what is lost. And he certainly doesn’t complain. What's your excuse? ↗

— Vera Nazarian

#excuse #excuses #holiday #north #northern

Christmas is like candy. It slowly melts in your mouth, sweetening every tastebud, making you wish it could last forever. ↗

— Richelle E. Goodrich

#richelle #richelle-goodrich #richelle-goodrich

What I'm not saying is that all government spending is bad. It's not - far, far from it, but there is no free lunch, as a former colleague of mine used to say. There is no public tooth fairy. Father Christmas does not work on the Treasury staff this year. You can never bail someone out of trouble without putting someone else into trouble. ↗

— Arthur Laffer

#bail #christmas #colleague #does #else