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#comedy

Read through the most famous quotes by topic #comedy




To call that writing, madam, is an insult to quills and ink across the world.


Julia Quinn


#humor #penmanship #humor

There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords.


George Carlin


#george-carlin #humor #philosophy #humor

I shouted the perfect words to scare him off. It was just the delivery (and only the delivery) that made me sound like a twelve-year-old girl with pee running down her leg. I felt dirty and stupid.


Graham Parke


#humor #literature #humor

The stalker, meanwhile, stepped into the road. Didn’t even check for traffic. There wasn’t any, but something told me this was lucky for traffic rather than the stalker.


Graham Parke


#humor #philosophy #humor

The reason people use a crucifix against vampires is that vampires are allergic to bull shit.


Richard Pryor


#richard-pryor #stand-up-comedy #vampires #humor

I can tell you that she's not breathing,” he said. “She has no heartbeat and all organ function and brain activity have stopped. Also her body temperature is now at seventy-three degrees.” “So you’re saying that she’s dead,” I said. “Well, I can't prove it, but, yes, I am leaning that way.


John Zakour


#sci-fi #sci-fi-humour-comedy #sci-fi

How bad is it?” “The story is only just now being reported, but let's put it this way,” HARV said. “The bag is now clearly catless, and there’s a very foul odor coming from the fan.


John Zakour


#sci-fi #sci-fi-humour-comedy #sci-fi

Excuse me, your attention please.” He waited until the whole floor had stopped what it was doing and turned to face him. For a split second his impulse control kicked in, but by then his mouth was fully engaged. “For the record, Claire Marsden and I are not having sex.


Sarah Mayberry


#humour #romance #romantic-comedy #funny

[The cats] scamper in front of my legs, causing me to fall and face plant into whatever furniture is closest. They especially like to play this game when I’m carrying piping hot coffee.


Weston Locher


#comedy #essay #funny #humor #funny

There was a group of fans who wanted autographs, and several women who managed to write their phone numbers on Wade's hand before he pulled free. Sam sent him an arched brow, but he just shrugged. He got numbers written on him a lot; he'd never figured out how to stop that from happening.


Jill Shalvis


#humour #romance #romantic-comedy #funny






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