#d

But the purpose of the book is not the horror, it is horror's defeat. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#funny #good-omens #humour #neil-gaiman #terry-prachett

It was an emergency!" Seth blurted. "Read my lips - emergency reading - not some demented idea of fun. If I was starving, I would eat asparagus. If somebody held a gun to my head, I would watch a soap opera. And to save Fablehaven, I would read a book, okay, are you happy?" You had best be careful, Seth," Grandma warned. "The love of reading can be contagious." I just lost my appetite," he declared... ↗

— Brandon Mull

#fablehaven #funny #mull #reading #seth

I can’t see through clothes or anything. Just glamour skin. Except I can see through all of you, since your clothes aren’t real.” I stopped, horrified. “I mean, I don’t look—It’s hard to see you, and I like looking at your real face, but I don’t try to see anything, because—Oh gosh, this sounds terrible.” He had a funny look on his face, like he wasn’t sure what to think. “Huh. That’s never been an issue before. Maybe next time you could bring me some shorts. ↗

— Kiersten White

#lend #funny

Don’t try to hog loneliness and keep it all to yourself. Share it with a special someone.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#alone #bizarre #funny #hog #humor

Wow. What'd he do to deserve that? Rescue orphans from a burning building? If so, you might want to make sure he didn't set the building on fire in the first place. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#funny #richelle-mead #rose #funny

Boredom can be a lethal thing on a small island. ↗

— Christopher Moore

#crazy #funny #inspirational #funny

gray hair is gods graffiti ↗

— Bill Cosby

#god #graffiti #hair #funny

We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur. ↗

— Al Gore

#funny #stupid #wow #funny

I’ve always loved you,” he said, his eyes a blue that was almost violet. “You know this.” She swallowed a lump in her throat. “I only wonder whether I deserve such devotion.” “Sometimes people fall in love with those who do not return the same strength of feelings. It is as it is,” he said with a quiet intensity. “What I give, I give freely. You owe me nothing, not love, not friendship, not even obligation. ↗

— Sherry Thomas

#sherry-thomas #tempting-the-bride #unrequited-love #friendship

Once we get into the groove, we're kind of like long-distance runners - that adrenalin kicks in for me and I just keep running - and I don't stop! ↗

— Keith Urban

#get #groove #i #into #just