#dating

You know how you have a good meal and you got gravy left on the plate. The gravy was so good that you don’t want to leave it on the plate but you don’t want to be a pig about it? So you take your bread and use it to sop up the rest of the gravy. That guy is totally soppable! ↗

— Erin Jamison

#girlfriends #online-dating #sexy-men #dating

Yes, I am of old family, and not illiterate. I am a fossil."   "A which?"   "Fossil. The first horses were fossils. They date back two million years. ↗

— Mark Twain

#dating

I'm dating myself, but this was before Jesus Christ. We worshiped a God named Sashatiba, who had five eyes, including one on the Adam's apple. ↗

— David Sedaris

#religion #dating

We've decided that your birthday present will be a car", said Marion. Danny was touched. "But the thing I can't figure out is, why would I need a new car?" "You can't very well gate a girl to the movies, Danny," Leslie replied. "I think you're overlooking the biggest point here," said Danny. "I don't need a CAR so I can date. I need a GIRL. ↗

— Orson Scott Card

#the-lost-gate #dating

I wanted to puke, and from the intense paint stench that was assaulting my nasal passages. Sage wanted Gaberot, Not Tucker, not Joe, but Gabe. It was all too gross to contemplate. So of course my brain couldn't stop contemplating it. Sage and Gabe-rot sitting in the tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G! We worked in silence for a few minutes while I fumed. How could she grill me about Gabe when she was already dating Mr.Perfect? If only Daniel were here to hear all of this instead of sitting back at SDH oblivious. "So are you and Gabe, like close?" Sage asked. Ugh! "Very close," I said, tilting my head to one side,"Incestuous,actually. He's a fabulous kisser. ↗

— Kieran Scott

#funny-as-hell #dating

Polly was a writer of many deadlines. There were the ignorable deadlines, the not-to-be-taken-too-seriously deadlines: the deadlines-before-the-deadlines deadlines, and finally, the no-kidding-around deadlines. She set these various dates, she'd told him, to fool herself. ↗

— Martha Grimes

#dating

So, the date was on. I’d tell Zayvion I had a chaperone. Maybe he could help me figure it out. ↗

— Devon Monk

#dating

Just as with swimming or riding a bike, you can't really learn how to fall in love from reading a book not even this one. Sure you can read about the different swimming strokes or the parts of a bicycle; you can learn the theory and physics behind the sport. But to get to the heart of the matter you've got to leap in and learn by doing. ↗

— Nicholas Boothman

#love #relationship #dating

When you grow up the way I do, and the biggest thing in your life so far has been getting dunked in a glass tank by a man who acts like he’s mugging you but says instead he’s saving your soul, then celebrating your soul mugging at Sizzler with your parents (get the buffet by itself, not added on to a steak dinner, because the buffet already has sirloin tips), you need rules. And not their rules, not God’s rules, but mine. My own. Here’s on of Eliot’s Rules for Dating: When you first meet a girl, make sure you are accidentally conducting a chemistry experiment on your lips. OK. I didn’t say they were all good rules. ↗

— Brad Barkley

#humor #love #dating

I love to stalk. I love to stalk you real, real good. I took your name home after our date and we had the best Google session of my life. ↗

— Anyta Sunday

#dating