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#funny

Read through the most famous quotes by topic #funny




The last dictator will finally prove the phrase, 'love conquers all.' Our savior is an erotocrat with an expansionist policy. When we are equalized through hierarchy, we will languish in joy.


Bauvard


#funny #love #salvation #truisms #war

Two bricks, parallel and horizontal, equals an equal sign.



Jarod Kintz


#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be divided into four equal pieces and split among three friends. I’ll take the two largest pieces, or half, whichever makes me appear the most generous.



Jarod Kintz


#brick-and-blanket #funny #humor #random #sharing

I was just about to open the door, when it opened up right in front of me. And there stood my parents. Is there a word for that moment when two parties are so equally shocked to see each other given the circumstances that all they can do is stare at each other, openmouthed?


August Westman


#caught-in-the-act #funny #shock #equality

Knives are sharp, but are equally confusing.


Nathan Hassall


#funny #nascent-illusion #sad #scary #strange

A brick could be used instead of a red light. They’re both red, and I’d run both with equal fervor.



Jarod Kintz


#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

All I have to do is shoot! In my excitement, I throw the ball down with more force than ever, feeling bad-ass. It ricochets off the floor at an angle and slams right into my crotch. All around me, the room goes, “Ohhhh!” I look up. Every face is staring at me, contorted into winces. Right. Ball in crotch equals excruciating pain. I’m such an idiot! Too late, I double over in pain. “Ouch!” I yell. I sneak a glance around. Nobody looks convinced, so I add, “My balls!


Jody Gehrman


#humor #equality

Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any.


John Callahan


#humor #sex #simile #funny

Isn’t it funny to think that this magnificent piece of matter is in a state of decay? Really, can you think of any other living thing that looks this glorious as it’s dying?


Tiffanie DeBartolo


#funny

You cannot control faeries. Can. Not. They aren't logical or rational. They don't obey the same laws (physical, social, emotional, traffic - you name it) that we do.


Kiersten White


#laws #funny






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