#funny

THUMB, I HOPE I WILL NOT BORE YOU WITH HOW TOTALLY, TOTALLY I ADORE YOU. THE FUNNY WAY YOU HAVE OF TALKING, THE CUTE WAY YOU HAVE OF WALKING. PLEASE DO NOT FEEL THAT I AM STALKING YOU. LOVE, HENDERSON ↗

— Phoebe Stone

#love #sweet #tshirts #funny

There were times . . . when it occurred to me that I was repeating my mother's life. Usually this thought struck me as funny. But if I happened to be tired, or if there were extra bills to pay and no money to pay them with, it seemed awful. I'd think 'This isn't the way our lives are supposed to be going.' Then I'd think 'Half the world has the same idea. ↗

— Stephen King

#funny

Men are only as loyal as their options. ↗

— Bill Maher

#loyal #men #only #options #their

I had a dream about you. We were on a bench next to the ocean eating melted chocolate out the belly of a beached whale. I said, “Isn’t this romantic?” and you either silently burped or the stench of decomposition wafted up to my nose, but either way I got the sense that either of those scents couldn’t have been a more appropriate reply. 
 ↗

— Dora J. Arod

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

Sweetheart, darling, dearest, it was funny to think that these endearments, which used to sound exceedingly sentimental in movies and books, now held great importance, simple but true verbal affirmations of how they felt for each other. They were words only the heart could hear and understand, words that could impart entire pentameter sonnets in their few, short syllables. ↗

— E.A. Bucchianeri

#falling-in-love #feelings #heart #love #love-at-first-sight

Certainly there are things in life that money can’t buy, but it’s very funny – Did you ever try buying them without money. ↗

— Ogden Nash

#humorous #funny

Sarah, honey, I hardly think kidnappers are going to take the time to buy a memento of their stay. I could be wrong, but it seems rather unlikely. ↗

— Christine Feehan

#humour #romance #funny

I sure do miss that woman. Smart. Funny. Sweet. She never gave me a moment's trouble." "Gosh, I'm sorry about that. I knew it was boring between you two, but not that bad. ↗

— Susan Elizabeth Phillips

#relationship #funny

I lost my balance when the train pulled away, but a human crumple zone buffered my fall. We stayed like that, half fallen. Diagonal People. ↗

— David Mitchell

#funny

No funny stuff in here tonight, you understand?” Dash said, “I assure you I could not contemplate any of your so-called funny stuff seeing as how I have no idea why I’m even here.” Mark scoffed. “You bookish little pervert.” “Thank you, sir!” Dash said brightly. ↗

— David Levithan

#mark #funny