#funny

Working for Mab now, are you, Wolfman?" he smirked. "Like a good little attack dog? Will you also roll over and beg if she asks? ↗

— Julie Kagawa

#puck #funny

Hitler: Thank you, whoever you are. I think you just saved my life. The Doctor: Believe me... It was an accident. ↗

— Steven Moffat

#dr-who #funny #hitler #tardis #funny

Sometimes I just think depression's one way of coping with the world. Like, some people get drunk, some people do drugs, some people get depressed. Because there's so much stuff out there that you have to do something to deal with it. ↗

— Ned Vizzini

#depression #life #funny

Why is it beautiful that humanity keeps coming back? Herpes does that, too. ↗

— Isaac Marion

#funny #random #warm #beauty

I just bought a small condo overlooking the water. The water is in a cup, one floor below my unit. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#cup #funny #humor #investment #life

I think a lot comes from having the experience of doing stand-up comedy. It allows you to figure out the psychology of an audience; what things are funny and not. ↗

— Keenen Ivory Wayans

#audience #comedy #comes #doing #experience

When would he learn that women never stayed where you put them? ↗

— Maya Banks

#humour #romance #romantic-suspense #funny

I'm not on all the time. I like to have fun and be funny, but I'm much more of a thinker. ↗

— Keenen Ivory Wayans

#funny #have fun #i #like #more

I'm asexual, though occasionally I'm attracted to inanimate objects. Mainly tube-shaped objects. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#attraction #funny #sex #funny

You think I'm pretty Without any make-up on You think I'm funny When I tell the puch line wrong I know you get me So I'll let my walls come down, down ↗

— Katy Perry

#makeup #thoughts #funny