#funny

I'm going to marry a Jewish woman because I like the idea of getting up Sunday morning and going to the deli. ↗

— Michael J. Fox

#because #deli #getting #going #i

I actually was class clown, but I don't know how that happened because I've never been considered an outwardly funny person-as the people in this room will attest. ↗

— Janeane Garofalo

#attest #because #been #class #class clown

But I believe that there are marriages where you can have your pool table and she can have her scrapbooking room or garden or whatever it is. But when everyone has what they want, it's not funny. There's no conflict. ↗

— Brad Garrett

#conflict #everyone #funny #garden #her

The day I made that statement, about the inventing the internet, I was tired because I'd been up all night inventing the Camcorder. ↗

— Al Gore

#about #all night #because #been #day

I had to audition for the part of Jnior, and I wanted the role terribly because I knew it was a great character. This guy is a wonderful, funny, mean old guy. ↗

— Dominic Chianese

#because #character #funny #great #great character

I had a dream about you. I was a ventriloquist trying to share your fashion secrets, but you wouldn’t talk. So we put on a strip show for the department store sale, and I was arrested for theft – I took away your dignity as a mannequin. ↗

— Bauvard

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. ↗

— W. C. Fields

#because #disgusting #drink #fish #i

It's funny, a lot of people think I take myself seriously because I come off so serious sometimes. But it's not that I take myself seriously, I take what I do seriously. ↗

— Laurence Fishburne

#come #funny #i #i do #lot

I had a dream about you. Are you surprised? You shouldn’t be. After all, it’s only fair I finally have a dream about you when you’ve been dreaming about me all these years. Oh please, don’t deny it. You couldn’t want my body more if I were a mannequin and you were a tailor making custom suits.
 ↗

— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you. Just as in real life, I was a man, and you were a mannequin. Well, in my dream you were a mannequin, but in real life you’re much less charismatic and talkative.
 ↗

— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships