#funny

Instead of stocks investors should invest in blankets, that way they’ll at least have something to keep them warm after they’ve lost all their money when the company goes under. ↗

— Amy Summers

#brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #finance #funny

Blankets on the other hand are incredibly needy as they are always trying to fill a “void”. Are a bit whorish in that the instant you walk away from them in less than a minute they’ll be all over someone else, and the moment you actually need them they’re nowhere to be found. ↗

— Nicole McKay

#brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny #humor

Your perception is riveting, Amal," he says in a bored and sarcastic tone, dropping the note down on my desk. "It's comforting to know that there are people in my class who have the maturity and intelligence to make derogatory comments about other people's external appearances." Now what am I supposed to say to that? "What do you have to say for yourself?" Friggin' mind reader. ↗

— Randa Abdel-Fattah

#mind-reader #note-passing #teacher #funny

A brick could be used as the perfect response in one particular situation. Next time someone says, “I love you,” say nothing. Just grab a brick, cradle it with both hands like a kitten, and hold it out to the other person. Whether you want the other person to leave, or whether you want them to stay, the response works flawlessly every time.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket #funny #humor #random #strange

Pops added,"you know, they say if you don't vote, you get the government you deserve." "And if you do, you never get the results you expected," (Katherine) replied. ↗

— E.A. Bucchianeri

#disappointments #election #elections #false-hope #funny

A brick has no legs, so it probably slithers like a snake. Therefore, a brick might make a good pet. And at least you wouldn’t have to walk it.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #dog

What goes up must come down. Which is why we invented Viagra, to make it stay up a little longer. ↗

— Carroll Bryant

#funny #humor #humorous #humorous-quote #funny

I'm sure the other kids wouldn't mind not being lectured by another toddler over the virtues of sharing and the mental benefits of toy blocks. ↗

— Hayden Thorne

#toddlers #young-adult #funny

A brick could be used to stop a bleeding wound. Though just between you and me, I’d prefer to be bandaged by a Band-Aid, a blanket, or a pair of lace panties (preferably red).
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A blanket isn’t the solution, a blanket is the problem. I say we burn all the blankets, along with the bodies of the unbelievers.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket #funny #humor #random #strange