#funny

Laura's problem was that she kept casting men in roles they weren't suited for. Like lovely Josh, casting him in the role of decent, kind house-husband, the perfect partner, the modern male, when - what was it that she'd actually loved about him, really? Laura tried to think, and couldn't come up with an answer. He was a great man - kind, funny, clever, hard working - but there was no way he was the man for her, she realised now. Why hadn't she seen it? ↗

— Harriet Evans

#funny

Hey, he's not using a holster," I said, glancing at Alex's on the dresser. He laughed out loud. "Yeah, I guess he must want something shooting off. It'd be so great if these things were true to life - the next scene would show him at hospital like, clutching himself in agony."'Angel - L.A.Weatherly ↗

— L.A.Weatherly

#comedy #funny #funny

I never thought that someday men will also use an iPAD. ↗

— Santosh Kalwar

#funny-and-random #ipad #men #funny

Even though I know my own name (barely), I still sometimes write my name wrong. Usually it only happens when I write in cursive and am endorsing checks for money I can’t recall earning. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #stealing #funny

I Take Life Very Seriously: One Joke At A Time. ↗

— Sandra Chami Kassis

#life #philosophy #quotes #truth #wisdom-inspirational

You mustn't let men drive you to mangling the English language, no matter how sweet they are. ↗

— Marisa de los Santos

#real-life #funny

You have terminated me,” one of them said in a strange, flat voice. “But I am one of many.” “Robots!” Iggy breathed, taking Total from Angel. “One of many, one of many, one of many,” the robot Eraser was saying. Now Nudge saw the red light in its eyes, saw how they were fading and winking out. “Good!” spat the Gasman, kicking it hard. “Because we like to blow stuff up, blow stuff up, blow stuff up! ↗

— James Patterson

#bombs #fight #flying #funny #lol

Wow,” she said. “Do you realise how wonderful you sound?” “Yes, I do,” he said with a firm nod. “And I think I’m underappreciated. ↗

— Robyn Carr

#cute #funny #humour #romance #romantic

This guy is funny. But is he safe? And how much is that worth when the world itself has ceased to exist? ↗

— Isabella Olivia Ellis

#love #funny

Got plans for the rest of the day?" I looked back at him and my heart just stopped. Then it just started again thudding erratically. What the hell does that mean? I feel like I'm having a heart attack. "No plans," I whispered. Test drive your mattress? Let me pretend to be a Skittle and you can taste my rainbow? Fifty Shades me? Please! Oh, holy horror, I'm freaking losing it. ↗

— Christine Zolendz

#grace #shane-maxton #funny