#funny

What the hell was she doing on the nonhostage side of a handgun? ↗

— Suzanne Brockmann

#humour #military-romance #romance #romantic-suspense #funny

Be the kind of woman who, when your feet hit the floor each morning, the devil says "Oh, no! She's up. ↗

— Joanne Clancy

#inspirational #life #women #funny

And it was kind of funny to see all these professional fighters unwilling to get within a mile of the female. Then again, if you wanted to survive doing the work they did, accurate risk assessment was something you developed early -- and even Qhuinn, who was the object of the protective instinct the Chosen was rocking, wouldn't have dared touch her. ↗

— J.R. Ward

#j-r-ward #layla #lover-at-last #qhuinn #funny

Neighbors are the most indecent sort of folk around. Nothing but voyeurs and gossipers. As a community we would be much better off without them. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #gossiping #humor #neighbors #voyeurism

I sobbed again, and this time my father chuckled. "What's so funny?" I demanded, tilting my head when my cheek got his coat wet. "You didn't cry when Kevin Mitchell broke your arm, or when you got stabbed in the hip the last time we were here. But boy troubles are still enough to reduce you to tears. ↗

— Rachel Vincent

#faythe #greg-sanders #funny

I am not what I appear – I am much shallower than that. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #shallowness #funny

I will live in thy heart, die in thy lap, and be buried in thy eyes—and moreover, I will go with thee to thy uncle’s. ↗

— William Shakespeare

#love #sweet #uncle #funny

Julie Seagle: A typical espresso only has 1/3 the caffeine of a regular-size cup of coffee, so all you snobs can bite me. I can out-caffeine you any day. Of course, I can't pretend to be a giant using a non-giant's cup, but I'll deal. ↗

— Jessica Park

#funny

Yes, it’s true. I can now tell you where cups and plates are to be found in my own kitchen. I know it’s a shock, but soon I may even be able to locate a bowl. ↗

— Rebecca Ethington

#funny

Breaking away from Gideon with some reluctance, Sophie rose to her feet and dusted off her dress. "Please forgive me, my dear Mr. Lightwood- I mean Gideon- but I must go and murder the cook. I shall be directly back. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#gideon #love #sophie #forgiveness