#funny

Writers fish for the right words like fishermen fish for, um, whatever those aquatic creatures with fins and gills are called. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#aquatic #bizarre #creatures #fins #fish

My two favorite colors of the rainbow are gold and leprechaun. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#gold #humor #leprechaun #rainbow #funny

There’s nothing I like better than a beautiful sunset. Except maybe a gorgeous sunrise. And a naked woman painted pink and orange floating through the sky. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #sunset #surreal #beauty

I can't decide whether I'm a good girl wrapped up in a bad girl, or if I'm a bad girl wrapped up in a good girl. And that's how I know I'm a woman! ↗

— C. JoyBell C.

#good-and-bad #humor #humour #life #life-and-living

Scoot over, man. I don't like you that much." "Dick. That's not what you said last night." "Bite me. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#gay #morganville-vampires #funny

I don't understand people who say they need more "Me Time." What other time is there? Do these people spend part of their day in someone else's body? ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#life #me-time #time #truth #wisdom

But that quickly faded, and he frowned. "You're bleeding," he said. "What happened?" Claire sighed and held up her wrist to show him the bandage. "Man, you would be so embarrassed if I said it was something else." Michael looked blank. "I'm a girl, Michael, it could have been all natural, you know. Tampons? ↗

— Rachel Caine

#morganville-vampires #funny

V-Day…if you need this one day in a year to show everyone else you truly care for “your loved one” I think it’s quite stupid. I hate this commercialism. It’s all artificial, and has nothing to do with real love. ↗

— Jess C. Scott

#books #cool #culture #desire #emotion

I can't believe he didn't have the dignity and presence of mind just to get drunk and pass out in some gutter," said Jace. "I must say, I'm disappointed in the little fellow. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor #funny

To Do Today, 1/17/08 1. Sit and think 2. Reach enlightenment 3. Feed the cats ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#enlightenment #funny #humor #think #to-do-list