#funny

You know, Ham," Breeze noted. "The only funny thing about your jokes is how often they lack any humor whatsoever. ↗

— Brandon Sanderson

#p- #funny

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile. ↗

— Billy Sunday

#car #funny #humor #religious #funny

You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named "Bush", "Dick", and "Colin." Need I say more? ↗

— Chris Rock

#everyday-life #funny #humor #observational-comedy #funny

California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange. ↗

— Fred Allen

#california #fine #happen #live #orange

Her friends say she is very funny. At a family dinner, she stood to go, and the footman very properly pulled her chair away. At that moment I asked her a question and she sat down again, except there was no chair. Everyone, including the Queen, laughed and laughed. ↗

— Prince Andrew

#asked #away #chair #dinner #down

I had an idea of what I thought was funny. It's kind of based on how I am. ↗

— Jennifer Aniston

#based #funny #had #how #i

I've always loved the blues, ever since I was a kid. It has a depth to it that a lot of contemporary music doesn't have. It has pain and suffering in it, but funny stories, too. And it is built on storytelling, which is something I really love. ↗

— Nickolas Ashford

#blues #built #contemporary #contemporary music #depth

The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl. ↗

— Dave Barry

#blocks #building #building blocks #fire #four

Did I ever tell you the difference between a Northern fairy tale and a Southern one?" she asked him, indulging herself and letting her head rest on his shoulder. God, he felt good. Her man. Where her head was meant to lie, right there, on him. "What's the difference?" "A Northern one starts 'once upon a time,' while a Southern one starts 'y'all ain't going to believe this shit. ↗

— Erin McCarthy

#fairy-tales #funny #funny

Ooh, big day in town for our park warden,” I said. “They’re even making you wear the uniform. Hayley’s mom will be happy. She thinks you look hot in it.” Dad turned as red as his hair. Mom’s laugh floated out from her studio. “Maya Delaney. Leave your father alone. ↗

— Kelley Armstrong

#embarrassing #funny-humor #funny