#funny

When I say something untrue on the air, I mean for it to be transparently untrue. I assume people know when I'm just saying something for effect. Or to be funny. ↗

— Ira Glass

#assume #effect #funny #i #just

But it's funny that now I'm in such a happy situation, I look more objectively at my own past and see what others have seen for a long time and I'm just so glad I've been able to get to this point. ↗

— Rick Allen

#been #funny #get #glad #happy

I realized my family was funny, because nobody ever wanted to leave our house. ↗

— Anthony Anderson

#because #ever #funny #house #i

Her friends say she is very funny. At a family dinner, she stood to go, and the footman very properly pulled her chair away. At that moment I asked her a question and she sat down again, except there was no chair. Everyone, including the Queen, laughed and laughed. ↗

— Prince Andrew

#asked #away #chair #dinner #down

I had an idea of what I thought was funny. It's kind of based on how I am. ↗

— Jennifer Aniston

#based #funny #had #how #i

If love had feathers and tasted like dog food, then I suggest you wear shoes with your banana pudding. (This statement also defines my political beliefs). ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#beliefs #funny #love #political #politics

Most shows, you really have to force it. And everybody's nervous, and the network is nervous, and they've all got their notepads out, and they're all going to give notes on what they think is funny, and everybody's trying to spin their jokes, and this was so - the script was so good that we didn't have to really do anything, and it made it so easy for us to do well. ↗

— Will Arnett

#easy #everybody #force #funny #give

I hate fake people. You know what I’m talking about. Mannequins. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #mannequins #funny

I just thought of a great theory that explains everything. When I went to that party, I was abducted by aliens. They have created a fake Earth and fake high school to study me and my reactions. This certainly explains cafeteria food. ↗

— Laurie Halse Anderson

#food

Did I ever tell you the difference between a Northern fairy tale and a Southern one?" she asked him, indulging herself and letting her head rest on his shoulder. God, he felt good. Her man. Where her head was meant to lie, right there, on him. "What's the difference?" "A Northern one starts 'once upon a time,' while a Southern one starts 'y'all ain't going to believe this shit. ↗

— Erin McCarthy

#fairy-tales #funny #funny