#funny

What's that?" he asked, when I stood beside him again. "Halos," I said with a grin. "For heavenly creatures like us." "That might be a stretch. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#funny #rose #funny

Jem gave her a wistful look. “Must you go? I was rather hoping that you’d stay and be a ministering angel, but if you must go, you must.” “I’ll stay,” Will said a bit crossly, and threw himself down in the armchair Tessa had just vacated. “I can minister angelically.” “None too convincingly. And you’re not as pretty to look at as Tessa is,” Jem said, closing his eyes as he leaned back against the pillow. “How rude. Many who have gazed upon me have compared it to gazing at the radiance of the sun.” Jem still had his eyes closed. “If they mean that it gives you a headache, they aren’t wrong. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#funny #jem-carstairs #will-herondale #friendship

I will never buy a fish tank, because I don't believe in supporting the funding of aquatic war machines. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#fish-tank #funny #nonsense #pacifism #funny

Accept who you are. Unless you're a serial killer. ↗

— Ellen DeGeneres

#funny

That's your truck parked up by the factory isn't it?" Magnus pointed. "It's awfully butch for a bookseller. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#city-of-ashes #funny #magnus-bane #funny

It's funny how different people are. If I'd been this kid and someone was snarling "Ordering a pizza?" at me, without even thinking, I would have snarled back "Yeah. You want pepperoni?" -Maximum Ride ↗

— James Patterson

#max #funny

On Friday night, I was reading my new book, but my brain got tired, so I decided to watch some television instead. ↗

— Stephen Chbosky

#funny #reading #television #funny

One thing I often get carried away with is piggyback rides.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #piggyback #piggyback-rides #funny

Shane looked…pale. Pale and shaken and—how predictable was this?—pissed. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#morganville-vampires #shane-collins #funny

I swore I'd never become some lord's brainless arm ornament and political host, but I've become far worse. I'm a glorified housekeeper and sperm donor. -from the journal of Payton Marcus Townsend. ↗

— J.L. Langley

#payton #funny