#funny

My friend "M" says the irony of being a zombie is that everything is funny, but you can't smile, because your lips have rotted off. ↗

— Isaac Marion

#zombies #funny

Life is short. If you doubt me, ask a butterfly. Their average life span is a mere five to fourteen days. ↗

— Ellen DeGeneres

#humor #inspirational #funny

A poem for Beth: Roses are red, Violets are blue, I didn’t know what love meant, until I looked it up in the dictionary.

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— Jarod Kintz

#funny #love #poem #poet #poetry

If you use tact you can say anything, then make it funny. ↗

— Dane Cook

#funny #make #say #tact #then

Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country. ↗

— Steven Wright

#country #cross #cross country #great #live

A man wrapped up in himself always suffocates. But his loved ones will forever hold in their hearts the memory of that Christmas. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #love #suffocation #funny

Working for Mab now, are you, Wolfman?" he smirked. "Like a good little attack dog? Will you also roll over and beg if she asks? ↗

— Julie Kagawa

#puck #funny

Hitler: Thank you, whoever you are. I think you just saved my life. The Doctor: Believe me... It was an accident. ↗

— Steven Moffat

#dr-who #funny #hitler #tardis #funny

A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice. ↗

— Bill Cosby

#advice #necessary #need #ones #stupid

There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God. ↗

— Bill Cosby

#because #funny #future #god #hope