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#funny

Read through the most famous quotes by topic #funny




Treat each other like human beings? But the other great apes have no class hierarchy.


Bauvard


#funny #humanity #humor #funny

Trees are corrupting our parks. They should be arrested for loitering. For deciduous trees, add littering and indecent exposure to that list of offenses.


Bauvard


#humor #trees #funny

Those myths about Zeus and Hercules were always so real to me; I was crushed to discover that Mt. Olympus has been overshadowed by global warming.


Bauvard


#funny #greek-gods #humor #myths #funny

America is not a place. America is an idea that died along with my grandfather. And I’m sorry to say that I shot them both.


Jarod Kintz


#died #funny #idea #funny

Mooooon!” said the Ogre. “Tranquility …” Then he pointed at the full moon. “Neil Armstrong walked in a sea of Tranquility.” Then he added, “It’s made of cheese. But you have to take off the plastic before you put it on a burger.” Mickey sighed. “What’s his story?” the wraith asked. “He’s chocolate,” Mikey said.


Neal Shusterman


#clarence #funny #mikey #nick #wraith

Damn it. Reyes could be such a butthead. Freaking Antichrists.


Darynda Jones


#funny

When pointing out the flaws in others, people always end up talking about themselves.


Claire Chilton


#funny-quotes #human-quotes #psychology-quotes #funny

I'm waiting for her to say "Craig, what you need to do is X" and for the Shift to occur. I want there to be a Shift so bad. I want to feel my brain slide back into the slot it was meant to be in, rest there the way it did before the fall of last year, back when I was young, and witty, and my teachers said I had incredible promise, and I had incredible promise, and I spoke up in class because I was excited and smart about the world. I want the Shift so bad. I'm waiting for the phrase that will invoke it. It'll be like a miracle within my life. But is Dr. Minerva a miracle worker? No. She's a thin, tan lady from Greece with red lipstick.


Ned Vizzini


#funny

Well, what do you want me to say?' The Doctor was so angry he was almost hovering. 'Well done on marrying the only male nurse not to have a full set of Barbara Streisand records? Why did you pick him, anyway? Were there no flight attendants in your village?' 'Only Jeff,' [Amy replied]. 'Ah.'... 'I picked Rory, always Rory, because he is just like you,' I [Amy] yelled at him. 'He is sweet and understanding and funny and he always tries to do the right thing. Plus you both run the same way.' 'We do not.' 'Do so.


James Goss


#doctor-who #rory-williams #the-doctor #funny

She introduced herself to my parents with one of her mighty, bunny-crushing handshakes. (I'd never seen Claudia crush a bunny, to be fair, but that's the approximate level of pressure.)


Maureen Johnson


#humor #humour #funny






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