#funny

Love is like wearing all red to a funeral, out of respect for the fact that the recently deceased got stabbed 17 times by a cherry Kool-Aid flavored icicle. I'd also recommend bringing your own boom box blasting out "Ice Ice Baby" as you dance down the aisle of the church.
 ↗

— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#dancing #death #fact #funeral #funny

Love is like breakfast with Mildred. Who’s Mildred? How the heck should I know? I don’t eat breakfast.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#breakfast #food #funny #humor #love

I’m a fake fact factory. The things I make are the things I make up. Also, as a side business, I make love. Actually, I just made that up. ↗

— Dora J. Arod

#fact #factory #facts #funny #humor

Love is a circular emotion that surrounds you, like a hug. Or a noose.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#emotion #emotions #funny #hug #humor

I loved her like elephants like remembering stuff. Those bastards just won’t let me forget and move on.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#forget #forgetting #funny #humor #love

Shane dragged Eve's suitcase into the room and dumped it on the floor beside her bed. “Hey, Dark Princess? Here’s your crap. Also, bite me. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#morganville-vampires #shane-collins #death

Her mouth set. "I've already lost one man I loved tonight. I will not lose the other." She glared at him. "And curse you, you stone head, for making me say it first. ↗

— Patrick W. Carr

#death #first #first-love #funny #funny-love

The recipe for great art has always been misery and a good bowel movement. ↗

— Don Roff

#funny #humor #inspirational #life #nature

...it’s just another one of those things I don’t understand: everyone impresses upon you how unique you are, encouraging you to cultivate your individuality while at the same time trying to squish you and everyone else into the same ridiculous mould. It’s an artist’s right to rebel against the world’s stupidity. ↗

— E.A. Bucchianeri

#artists #be-yourself #creative-process #encouragement #funny

95% of teens would have a breakdown if the Jonas Brothers were standing on the edge of a building ready to jump. Copy and paste if you're that 5% that would get a lawn chair and popcorn to watch. ↗

— Bella Tohru Haruhi

#realistic #funny