#funny

I walked to the door where Clovis waited. When I looked up, he was staring at Adam. A quick glance backward confirmed Adam was returning his stare. Freaking males, I thought, they couldn’t be more obvious about their territorial dispute if they’d both peed on me. ↗

— Jaye Wells

#funny

Well, that cinched it. He was an asshole. I was definitely going to end up sleeping with him. ↗

— Molly Harper

#funny

Tris," he says. "What did they do to you? You're acting like a lunatic." "That's not very nice of you to say," I say. "They put me in a good mood, that's all. And now I really want to kiss you, so if you could just relax- ↗

— Veronica Roth

#four #funny #insurgent #tobias-and-tris #tobias-eaton

But Amy," Elder says. "Space suits! ↗

— Beth Revis

#funny #funny

WHAT DO WE WANT?! PATIENCE! WHEN DO WE WANT IT?! NOW! ↗

— Al Franken

#funny

Not dead-dying. Funny how two things could be so similar and yet so far apart ↗

— Maggie Stiefvater

#funny

So,” sneered Fudge, recovering himself, “you intend to take on Dawlish, Shacklebolt, Dolores, and myself single-handed, do you, Dumbledore?” “Merlin’s beard, no,” said Dumbledore, smiling. “Not unless you are foolish enough to force me to.” “He will not be single-handed!” said Professor McGonagall loudly, plunging her hand inside her robes. “Oh yes he will, Minerva!” said Dumbledore sharply. “Hogwarts needs you! ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#fudge #funny #mcgonagall #third-person #funny

Yes, I'm back," he said, "And look who I ran into." Horace grinned at him. "i hope you ran into him hard." "As hard as I could. ↗

— John Flanagan

#funny

It’s fairly standard. Also, I’m fourteen. Also, your beard’s stupid.” “Isn’t this fun?” Skulduggery said brightly. “The three of us getting along so well. ↗

— Derek Landy

#crux #funny #stupid #funny

Mr. Right is coming, but he's in Africa and he's walking. ↗

— Oprah Winfrey

#funny