#funny

Me neither,” Shane put in. “Homie don’t play that.” “I wonder, sometimes, if your generation speaks English at all,” Amelie said. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#funny #language #morganville-vampires #shane-collins #funny

How very wet this water is. ↗

— L. Frank Baum

#logic #obvious #funny

Ready?" Despite the grim mood, I smiled and cracked my knuckles. "Ready to wrestle with my gorgeous boyfriend? Oh, I'd say I'm ready for that." Amusement softened his eyes. "I'll try to control where I put my hands, but in the heat of things, who knows what could happen?" I added. Patch grinned. "Sounds promising. ↗

— Becca Fitzpatrick

#finale #funny #hush-hush #love #nora-grey

Yeah, well. I don’t try to be awesome. It just comes natural. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#funny #gleeson-hedge #the-lost-hero #funny

Boys! Are they always this impossible? Do they always say cryptic, indecipherable things? (Note to self: work with Liz to adapt her boy-to-English translator into a more mobile form—like maybe a watch or necklace.) ↗

— Ally Carter

#funny

Oliver laughed - actually laughed."I like this new Claire," he said. "You should work her this hard all the time, Myrnin. She's interesting when she's forthright." Claire, possessed by the spirit of Eve, shot him the finger. Which made him laugh again, shake his head, and walk up the steps. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#funny #ghost-town #humor #morganville-vampires #myrnin

You know you're a hot mess when the only person buying you drinks all night is yourself. ↗

— Chelsea Handler

#funny #hot-mess #humor #funny

He stared at her neck. Realization pulsed. He was looking at the bite he had given her. A hard length was growing against her hip. “So, is that your long, scaly, reptilian tail, or are you just happy to see me?” No, she did not just say that. Did she? ↗

— Thea Harrison

#funny #pia #funny

WHY ARE YOU WORRYING ABOUT YOU-KNOW-WHO? YOU SHOULD BE WORRYING ABOUT U-NO-POO- THE CONSTIPATION SENSATION THAT'S GRIPPING THE NATION! Harry started to laugh. He heard a weak sort of moan beside him and looked round to see Mrs. Weasley gazing, dumbfounded, at the poster. Her lips moved, silently mouthing the name 'U-No-Poo. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#fred-and-george #funny #funny

So hologram means--" I finally said. "It means non-corporeal, yeah. Which sucks seeing as how there are a lot of very corporeal things I'd like to do with you right now. ↗

— Rachel Hawkins

#archer-cross #corporeal #funny #hex-hall #hologram