#funny

A lot of brainless unicorns swaggering about and calling themselves educated just because they can push each other off a horse with a bit of a stick! It makes me tired. ↗

— T.H. White

#merlyn #the-once-and-future-king #education

The proudest confessions are always barely legal. The fondest memories are always underage. The most innocent experiences are always infantile. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #illegality #memory #pedophilia #experience

I’m a firm believer in equality at all times—” “At all times?” She glanced at the cuffs clipped to his leathers. “Why do I find that hard to believe?” And why the heck was she arguing with him. Mine, mine, mine. “At all times,” he repeated. “However, in the bedroom or in the club, I am a lot more equal than you. ↗

— Cherise Sinclair

#erotic-romance #funny #humour #romance #equality

The wider you spread your fingers apart while clapping is equal to the amount of retarded you look while clapping. ↗

— Christy Leigh Stewart

#clapping #funny #funny-and-random #retarded #equality

It was safe to assume he'd not only read the play but then re-read it, cross-referenced the annotations, and probably joined an online chat group called Buds of the Bard or something equally nerdy ↗

— Simon Holt

#simon-holt #soulstice #equality

The last dictator will finally prove the phrase, 'love conquers all.' Our savior is an erotocrat with an expansionist policy. When we are equalized through hierarchy, we will languish in joy. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #love #salvation #truisms #war

Two bricks, parallel and horizontal, equals an equal sign.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be divided into four equal pieces and split among three friends. I’ll take the two largest pieces, or half, whichever makes me appear the most generous.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket #funny #humor #random #sharing

I was just about to open the door, when it opened up right in front of me. And there stood my parents. Is there a word for that moment when two parties are so equally shocked to see each other given the circumstances that all they can do is stare at each other, openmouthed? ↗

— August Westman

#caught-in-the-act #funny #shock #equality

Knives are sharp, but are equally confusing. ↗

— Nathan Hassall

#funny #nascent-illusion #sad #scary #strange