#funny

Who knew Demon Child would have such a normal name? I expected something exotic like Serena or Destiny or the Evil One That Comes in the Night to Make Us Chilly. ↗

— Darynda Jones

#humor #snarky #witty #funny

I never said nothing..." "I know you never! I could hear you not saying anything! You've got the loudest silences I ever did hear from anyone who wasn't dead! ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humor #humorous #funny

The rage that had expolded inside me diffused. I didn't know where it had come from. I had a short temper and often acted impulsively,but this had been intense and ugly even for me. Weird. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#funny

I was in a tailspin of confusion I hadn't experienced since the first time I heard George W. Bush speak. ↗

— Chelsea Handler

#funny

A comedy isn’t about being funny...a comedy is about characters who dare to know that they may choose a happy ending after all. ↗

— Gary D. Schmidt

#happy-ending #shakespeare #funny

He left the key in the ignition. No one was likely to come up here and steal the truck- and if anyone did... well, he could deal with Charles ↗

— Patricia Briggs

#charles-cornick #funny #funny

I wouldna cross the road to see a scrawny woman if she was stark naked and dripping wet. ~Jamie Fraser ↗

— Diana Gabaldon

#funny #jamie-fraser #outlander #scotland #skinny

Hasn't anyone ever told you," Jesse asked, in a semi-amused voice, "that a gentlemen never lays a hand on a lady?" Which I thought was king of funny, considering where Jesse had had his hand the last time I'd seen him ↗

— Meg Cabot

#funny

I’m on the west coast. I am Lewis and Clark. I am Lewis Clark. Like the time I got a Denver Omelet in Dallas with a girl named Charlotte Washington. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#west-coast #funny

I’ve always wanted to kill someone by stealing their sound. If you’ve got no sound, you’ve got no voice. And it’s impossible to scream with no voice. So it’s like murdering a mime, only with less movement. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#murder #funny