#funny

What do you think? Does this face make me look fat? ↗

— Kiersten White

#funny

That’s us,” he said. “Those five nuts right there.” Which one is me?” I asked. The little deformed one,” Zoe suggested. Oh, shut up. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#gods #grover #percy-jackson #zoe #funny

Shut up, Julius! I mean, quiet a moment, Commander. ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#funny

But the purpose of the book is not the horror, it is horror's defeat. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#funny #good-omens #humour #neil-gaiman #terry-prachett

It was an emergency!" Seth blurted. "Read my lips - emergency reading - not some demented idea of fun. If I was starving, I would eat asparagus. If somebody held a gun to my head, I would watch a soap opera. And to save Fablehaven, I would read a book, okay, are you happy?" You had best be careful, Seth," Grandma warned. "The love of reading can be contagious." I just lost my appetite," he declared... ↗

— Brandon Mull

#fablehaven #funny #mull #reading #seth

I can’t see through clothes or anything. Just glamour skin. Except I can see through all of you, since your clothes aren’t real.” I stopped, horrified. “I mean, I don’t look—It’s hard to see you, and I like looking at your real face, but I don’t try to see anything, because—Oh gosh, this sounds terrible.” He had a funny look on his face, like he wasn’t sure what to think. “Huh. That’s never been an issue before. Maybe next time you could bring me some shorts. ↗

— Kiersten White

#lend #funny

Don’t try to hog loneliness and keep it all to yourself. Share it with a special someone.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#alone #bizarre #funny #hog #humor

Wow. What'd he do to deserve that? Rescue orphans from a burning building? If so, you might want to make sure he didn't set the building on fire in the first place. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#funny #richelle-mead #rose #funny

Boredom can be a lethal thing on a small island. ↗

— Christopher Moore

#crazy #funny #inspirational #funny

gray hair is gods graffiti ↗

— Bill Cosby

#god #graffiti #hair #funny