#funny

I think we may have started this conversation off on the wrong foot," Robert said finally. In fact, if the conversation had been animate, the merciful thing to do would have been to take it out behind the barn and shoot it. ↗

— Courtney Milan - The Duchess War

#funny

So just let me deal with it, I can be emotionally flawed and still love you all at the same time. I’m a great multitasker. ↗

— Holly Hood

#paranormal-series #true-love #witty #funny

I'll eat rabbit pellets before you get me into something pink with ruffles. ↗

— Deb Baker

#pink #funny

Governments are nothing more than elaborate Rube Goldberg apparatuses, operating with absurd inefficiency. Why walk ten steps when you can make it there in a hundred?
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#government #rube-goldberg #funny

The university awarded me my degree, but can something that’s basically worthless be properly called an award?
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#college #degree #fraud #funny #humor

As early as 1,000 BC, man had to wait nearly 3,000 years to talk to me.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#history #humor #man #time #funny

I think I found your vampire,” Andrew said, except this time he wasn’t so amused. However, Gabriella was, her smile huge as she laughed, the sound a trill in the densely packed cold air. “You think this is funny?” The words came out surly, but Andrew couldn’t stop his lips from twitching over her amusement. “I thought they’d be bigger,” she said, stifling another round of giggles. “Are you okay?” “Just a flesh wound. ↗

— Laura Kreitzer

#fantasy #fiction #key-of-pearl #laura-kreitzer #paranormal-fantasy

I think I've been very lucky. The readers who write to me say they like the characters and the sense of a real world, often one they don't otherwise know about. And usually there's a funny bit in there somewhere. ↗

— Sophie Weston

#funny

Walk Like A Pine Tree Day occurs on Stand Still Day. Orafoura and I observe both—and we observe whatever else we may be standing next to.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #nature #observe #see

See, what you're talking about is why hanging out with ME would be fun for YOU. It doesn't explain anything about why it'd be fun for ME. You don't bring banter. You aren't witty. You aren't funny. There is nothing to pick from your brain. You're looking for me to entertain you. A relationship is an exchange, not a one-way street. Look beyond your own personal desires for a second and understand what you bring to the exchange- nothing. ↗

— Tucker Max

#pa #funny